Child protection investigation new partner

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Miss1888
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Aug 14, 2019 6:29 am

Child protection investigation new partner

Post by Miss1888 » Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:56 pm

Ok so here goes. Apologies for the long post but feel someone needs to see the whole picture because I need help.
I am a single mother of a 9year old have been for 8years. I work full time, have amazing friends and family, maintain a lovely home, with pets and feel confident I have done well by my child.
She has good contact with her dad (twice weekly) and all his family so overall has settled life between us. Her father after me married then divorced and has since met someone older then him and have just had a baby who is nearly 6months old now.
The past 6months have been a whirlwind out of the blue.
My ex (her Father) has reported me to social services several times!
For things such as feeding her unhealthy foods (investigated no issues)
Then for having an alcohol problem ( NOT TRUE, again investigated no issues)
The school have been involved my daughter is suffering anxieties, and was referred to school nurse then school counsellor. But doing better now.
My daughter even told the school at one point I hit her and had verbally abused her one day because she heard me swear, which was devastating. She admitted further down the line it wasn’t true and social workers discussed with her truth and lies etc. But was very out of character for her to do this and a major incident for me to manage.
As you can imagine I have been totally dragged through the mud by everyone and am feeling pretty deflated.

Recently things have begun to settle an I have been seeing a new man.
He was an old flame from 10years ago that we rekindled and I couldn’t be happier.
Now, it’s still fairly early days and we only meet up twice weekly when I haven’t got my daughter at the moment which we are enjoying.
He also has three young children from his previous marriage in which he has every weekend overnight.
Him and his ex wife had broken up in a very bitter way after she cheated. A lot has happened and she had made allegations of domestic violence against him and had him arrested several times.
All of these were investigated and no charges made.
In the meantime she decided to contact my Ex and inform him of these, which just fuelled him to raise yet another safeguarding.

Naturally Social service got involved and have a child protection case ongoing because of the risk of domestic violence.
The police agreed to make a disclosure about my current partner which he has several allegations about domestic abuse involving his ex wife. I was already aware of these as he had informed me and strongly denies them.
No charges has ever been made and he has never had any other allegations from previous relationships.
The social have been to my house and met with myself and have had private meeting in the home with my daughter. The outcome of these were amazing. The social have absolutely no concerns with myself, my child, my home or my life in general. In fact they actually praised me and complimented how wonderful my daughter is and how well I have done by her.

Now I am awaiting the outcome of the report.
The worst case scenario would be them advising me not to date my new partner which I would be so gutted about. I understand their concerns and need to investigate but surely nothing can happen with just allegations.
Can anyone please help or been through similar.
I am desperate to get on with my life without anymore dramas thrown in

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 637
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Child protection investigation new partner

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Sep 11, 2019 3:28 pm

Dear Miss1888

Thank you for posting, unfortunately you have posted on the incorrect discussion forum, but I will respond to your post here and ask that you post on the parents’ forum in future.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I apologise that you are only now receiving a response to your post.

In your post you say that your new partner has a history of domestic violence allegations against him and, as a result children’s services are carrying out child protection investigations. Once the social worker has finished the investigation/assessment a recommendation will be made whether there should be an initial child protection conference. This will be on the basis that your daughter has suffered harm and is a risk of significant harm in the future.

Has the social worker given any indication that there is also a risk assessment of your partner to see what level of risk he poses to your daughter? If you wish to remain in a relationship with him then a risk assessment will normally be carried out.

It is important that you understand that you should not minimise the domestic violence in his previous relationship. The fact that he does not have a conviction does not mean there was no domestic violence only that the police did not believe they would get a conviction on the available evidence. Children’s services, will not, only because the police did not pursue a case your partner take the view that there was no domestic violence. Their position is safeguarding on they look at things on the civil test of probability, that means whether something in more likely to have happened than not. The police work on the basis of the criminal test of beyond reasonable doubt.

If children’s services were to advise you not to continue your relationship, you could ask that they carry out the risk assessment referred to above and explain your willingness to work with children’s services. Your partner has had a number of allegations of domestic violence, has he ever done any courses to improve his behaviour? This is something he might wish to think about. Children’s services could suggest that you do domestic violence courses too so you can better understand their concerns about your daughter and you.

You may find it helpful to read information here regarding domestic violence.

It would also be helpful for you to read our advice sheet Child protection procedures.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful

Best wishes

Suzie

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