CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

xtina
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2015 7:54 am

CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby xtina » Tue Mar 15, 2016 1:33 pm

Hi

what we have been through is a long heartbreaking devastating year..[may i add we have S W from hell]

in short my two grandchildren [now 1 & 2 and a half] were first put in voluntary care then into care and were lined up for adoption

they are now with my older daughter in long term kin/fostering

they are now back with our family who are a large and very close family

the S W worker involved ...has now rang me to ask for as many photo's as i can provide of the children as a.. trainee is going to create a book of why they were took into care..... etc she said it is done for every child in care

i have already started doing this ...of photo's etc in a album....and little letters of things that happened at certain stages ....to tell them ...when they are old enough to understand ...or want answers to any question they ask...[also private notes from mum dad]...who does see them ..but at the moment once a month for 1 hour ..

i feel there is no need for what she has asked...they are with there family ...not with strangers or been adopted if that had been the case then i would have thought there would have been a need to know there roots ..but than god they are not





why pictures in a book have to be shown of people they see on a regular basis any way nan granddad ...[aunts/uncles/cousins]...i just cannot understand.



am i right in finding this very offencive...and a very private thing.

when my daughter takes the S G O ..they all walk away anyway ....and will leave her to it ....if you know what i mean ...[they wont be involved in anything]

I feel it is is invading grandchildren's privacy

i told her i would get back to her ...and will be doing this today ..to refuse ...



could anyone give me there thoughts on this asap...............[hope the above makes sense]

User avatar
ied53
Posts: 2123
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby ied53 » Tue Mar 15, 2016 5:54 pm

As a carer myself = I am Granny. It is essential that life story work is done . What you are doing is great and has great value but the one the sw has to do is invaluable. It will take into account factual information that will help support the little one as they grow. From both sides of the family Believe me there are hundreds of carers demanding help with this as most are ignored.
Of course you can refuse what you have is your property but it would be seen as obstructive. You can be involved in a very important piece of work.
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do

xtina
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2015 7:54 am

Re: CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby xtina » Wed Mar 16, 2016 7:20 am

hi ied53

i have also read some horror stories about these books

i was also told by a friend who works in child care,,,it is very odd for them to do this when they are with family......this is what worries me

User avatar
ied53
Posts: 2123
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby ied53 » Thu Mar 17, 2016 7:29 am

I can assure you done properly the life story is a bonus. I can assure you that 60,000 kinship families have them or want them. Your friend may work in child care but does she work for this specialist field. Of course you can refuse but the life story will be one sided. It is essential that it is balanced when the child reads it when older they will want to know why the other side of the child's family bothered . It is part of the child's support.
As family we provide all of this and it sounds to me you are doing a great job . Try discussing with the SW what you are doing and show them . The whole idea of life story work is to share ad you go along as well as where and why did this happen. The other families information has a right to be included too even if they are not involved with the child, the child has a right to know about them even if the detail is limited. But yes you have a right to refuse this might be seen as obstructive and if you needed support in the future may cloud the issue . The LA have a duty to do this work. It could even be that what you have done is so good they would say in that case can you add this information and we will leave you to it.
Irene

Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire

Tough times never last tough people do

Celle
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2013 10:26 pm

Re: CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby Celle » Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:29 pm

I understand that it is important to have a record of why a child was placed into care, for future reference, but I also understand the poster's reluctance to release private family photographs.

I think there is a need for some clarification here: Is this record book to be given to the child, kept as a SW record, or being done as part of the experience the trainee needs to acquire?

I see no need for baby photographs, only for one photograph to identify the child.
Surely SW would already have any photographs showing evidence of physical abuse, for example? They should have formed part of a report.

Before my daughter and son-in-law were appointed as Special Guardians to their daughter, they were asked by SW to make a little book, with photographs, welcoming F. to their family. They did this and F. has it now. The foster parents also made a book and a CD (with photos) of the time that F. spent with them. This was also given to F.
SW said that they would also prepare a book to be given to F - but they didn't.

Until it is made clear that the child's right to privacy will be respected and and the purpose and destination of this book is established, I would be very reluctant to release any family photographs.

User avatar
ied53
Posts: 2123
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby ied53 » Mon Apr 04, 2016 6:09 am

Life story work is for the child not for the record books it is made into a book and given to the child. We are always free to decline but it is part of the sw responsibility to complete the book.
Where did I come from, Who is my family, Why did I come to be here. It needs to be basic information. Not a full album . It is not a record of the abuse. It is a basic who am I. Including both sides of the family .
Irene

Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire

Tough times never last tough people do

Celle
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2013 10:26 pm

Re: CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby Celle » Tue Apr 05, 2016 11:33 pm

I agree that it's important for the child to know where she/he comes from and learn who her/his parents and family are but, in this case, the grandmother and family are already doing a book. The child is placed with family and will know who they are, sees the birth mother, will be told further details when the time is right. Photos can be shown by the family.

I don't like to disagree with you, Irene, because you have been helpful to me, but in this situation I would trust the family, rather than a trainee SW. I do agree that it's important for the child to know its life history.

It may be the duty of SW to do such a book but, given our family's experience, I would not trust that book to be completely accurate, if it even eventuated. The CS that placed our granddaughter under an SGO with my daughter and her family were dilatory and inefficient, did not pass on details from one SW another, broke promises, did not complete tasks on time where a deadline had been set, and on more than one occasion got important details wrong. They failed to complete the promised book.

My advice to the grandmother would be this:
A. Only supply a few, selected photographs.
B. Get a written confirmation that all the photos supplied will be returned in good condition by a certain date.
C. Get a written confirmation that the book itself will be completed by a certain date.
D. Ask to see the book before it is presented to the child and insist that any inaccuracies are corrected.

.

User avatar
ied53
Posts: 2123
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby ied53 » Wed Apr 06, 2016 5:55 am

I don't disagree with you Celle on any point I answered the question asked. It is also important that the birth father family are included. Whether they are active in the child's life or not. I did say that The Granny should say she is doing a book. As guardian she has a right to say when the book is shared and to see it first. I know I certainly would. Regardless of how done life story books are essential and I would not be happy at a student doing it unless she has done the specific training either. ( every bit of reading I have done suggests it should only be done by a trained person) this of course is for the "professional" ones not the family albums.
The LA's are doing what they are supposed to do and what needs to be done. as I also said previously yes she has the right to refuse / decline. We all know how this may be interpreted by the LA though.
Irene

Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire

Tough times never last tough people do

Celle
Posts: 68
Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2013 10:26 pm

Re: CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby Celle » Wed Apr 06, 2016 8:33 pm

Thanks, Irene. A wise response, as usual.

I agree that the birth father's family should also be involved, if possible, or at least mentioned.

In our case, he is not mentioned, because it was felt not to be in the child's best interests. The birth father .(BF) was in a short-term relationship with the BM. He has been in prison more than once.
While BM was sure he was the father, she did not name him on F's birth certificate. His paternity was proved (as much as possible) by DNA tests.
He has never seen his daughter, has provided no support for BM or F, and has refused to be given any information about F. He was offered a once-yearly update on F's progress, but said he wanted nothing to do with her. He has totally rejected her.

Our daughter has asked CS for the BF's name, so that F can be told that, if she should want to research her birth parentage when she is older but, so far, CS have not supplied that information.

Sorry to hi-jack the thread!

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 474
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: CAN I REFUSE SOCIAL SERVICES REQUEST

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Apr 07, 2016 4:42 pm

Dear Xtina

It is clear you have already received a lot of useful advice from Ied53 and other users of this Forum. Life Story Work is a crucial part of any child’s journey in that it can help them to make sense of their cultural heritage and identity both now and in the future. Therefore, it is definitely advisable to fully participate in this process in any way you can.

Best Wishes

Suzie


Return to “FRG hot topics”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests