Family Rights Group | Kinship carers’ Forum

Hi all, we have our grandchild full time since September and to say it's been up and down would be wrong, just when we seem to be getting somewhere with his behavior contact happens again(sees BM 1hr fortnightly), hubby little downbeat as grandchild doesn't respond aswell to him as he does to me, and hubby wishes there was little time occasionally for us, think it shock to system after years of us having time, is this normal all normal ,we can't really go out as DBS check still not done on our network

Dear Devotedgrandma

Thank you for your further post.

I am sorry that having your grandchild in your care is causing difficulties with your husband.

It is of course a difficult time for all of you to adjust to the changes that having to care for a child brings. Your husband is not yet used to the idea of having to look after a small child, may be it would help his relationship with your grandchild if he feels a bit more included. Why not agree to him spending an afternoon or a couple of hours with sole responsibility for the child so they can develop a closer bond.

If you are giving most or all of your time to the little one your husband might be feeling a little put out but I am sure you can have time together after your grandchild have settled for the evening. Try to make a special time for him so he does not feel pushed out bearing in mind, as you say in your post, that you have had years of spending your time together. Explain that once people in your support network have been checked out things will get better.

Try and do things together with your grandchild until you are able to be on your own.

There is nothing else that can be done save taking things slowly and adjusting to your new roles of parenting your grandchild together.

Please post again if you need further advice.

I hope this helps

Best wishes

Suzie