Parents and their contact.

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ozzy3396
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2012 8:05 pm

Parents and their contact.

Post by ozzy3396 » Mon Apr 22, 2013 9:05 pm

Hi . Ive posted on FRG before. The advice i was given was first rate ... so here i am again with a different problem and looking for advice again .

My problem is contact. ( child 2 years 5 months )

My son and his girlfriend want to take their daughter into their local town. Now the problem is we have said no to this and they are not to happy !
When we first got the SGO 18 months ago we allowed unsupervised contact at their flat but due to home conditions ( unclean home ) and putting their child at risk of harm by leaving painkillers , lighters , carrier bags.....you name it ! We stopped visits to their home after we got feed up with tidying and making their home safe before every visit and after my son threatened violence towards myself when we said she could not stay. We did however let them have their daughter in town once a week to do some shopping and have lunch etc but told them the flat was out of bounds ! A few weeks later we checked the flat and found they were inside there with their daughter. They had gone against our wishes. We used the excuse of winter coming to stop unsupervised outings into town but now summer is nearing they now want unsupervised outings with their daughter. We have said no as we are sure they will go back to the flat with our grand daughter at some point. I should say that both parents have learning disabilities and our grand daughter came into our care due to very poor home conditions and very poor parental skills. Nothing has changed. The scary thing is they still do not realise what they did was wrong ! They are not capable of looking after a young child safely as their skills are still very poor. They cannot maintain themselves and we know they flat is still poor due to the police visiting there when our grand daughters mother said she had taken an overdose and the police said the flat was unsuitable for human habitation and even her cats were taken away by the RSPCA.
On the final report that was read by the judge who granted the SGO it states that if home conditions were not deemed suitable ( by us ) then visits should be either at our home or a contact centre.
On the SGO it states , contact should be twice a week , times , days to be agreed by the parties.
It is that word agreed !
We are using our PR to say no. We strongly believe we are right to do this.
But are we breaking any law by changing contact to our home ? We are doing this in order to keep our grand daughter safe.
Thankyou for your time.

LLB
Posts: 541
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:10 pm

Re: Parents and their contact.

Post by LLB » Fri Apr 26, 2013 9:52 pm

This is a real problem because of the learning difficulties. They probably love their daughter and find it so difficult. We had a similar situation and we have been Special Guardians for a number of years.

We had contact at our house and we had special tea parties and sometimes we all went out to McDonalds but then we had to have supervised contact. It was so difficult and we went through some horrendous times.

Now we are coming out the other side and the divisions in the family are beginning to heal. One grandchild is at university and the other still with us. We have even had a "thank you" from their mother for bringing them up and keeping them in the family. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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