Contact

[yorkiegirl39]

Hello to all
Ive just joined today after a very lengthy telephone conversation with the Family Rights Group a few weeks ago!
Im seeking any advise on what to do about my Neice.
My Brother and his partner are alcoholics and after a bout of heavy drinking last October, their four children were placed with the Maternal Grandmother. The three eldest are from my Brothers partners previous relationship and the youngest almost two (my Neice) is my Brothers child (he also has another Daughter from a previous marriage).
My Brother and his partner seperated soon after, and Mum wants to live her life without having her children back, although she does see them once every now and again at her parents house, however my Brother is desperate to see his little girl.
The relationship with him and the Grandparents is not good at all, and he cant get access. He has seen a Solicitor on numerous occasions, but they tell him that he can only have his Daughter if he pays £20 to the SS as the little one hasnt been placed with them, and that if he takes it to Court for access then its unlikely he will get anywhere due to not being off the alcohol for long enough. All letters sent to the Grandparents are ignored!
Does anyone please have any advice, my Neice should be seeig her older Sister and forming a relatioship with her, and the rest of her Family but we are at a standstill and have had no contact with her for 8 weeks.
The SS never phone my Brother with updates and when he phones or leaves messages these are ignored. The meetings with SS only go ahead without my Brother present as Grandmother feels intimidated by him. My Husband and I did have contact ever other week but we live a long distance away and the 4 hour round trip meant we barely had her with us anyway.
Many thanks for listening and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Yorkiegirl39,

I am really sorry to hear about all the difficulties that your family have been having with getting contact with your niece. It must be very worrying for you. It also does not sound right to me that dad has been having no contact whatsoever. I will briefly outline some suggestions about how you and your brother might get a better response from children’s services (new name for social services). Other friends and family carers may have some of their own tips.

Here is a link to our frequently asked questions for fathers. Get dad to have a look at this. There is a section dealing with contact and also a section dealing with children’s services when a child is accommodated.
: frequently asked questions for fathers

What is the legal position of your niece?
Those who can make decisions about your niece are those who have parental responsibility for her. Mum will automatically have parental responsibility. Dad will, if he had ever been married to mum or if he signed his daughter birth certificate or if there is a court order giving him parental responsibility or if he has signed a parental responsibility agreement with mum. Even if he does not have parental responsibility, children services should be keeping him informed about what is happening and should be consulting him about all decisions that are made.
Is there any court order in respect of your niece? For example, a residence order or special guardianship order in favour of the maternal grandparents will give them parental responsibility. An interim care order to the local authority will give children’s services parental responsibility.
Contact
I could give you more specific advice about the best way forward for dad in respect of contact-if you let me know who has parental responsibility for your niece and if you can tell me whether there any ongoing court proceedings. If there are proceedings-are children services involved in those proceedings? Did they take the proceedings or are only preparing a report for the court. Please do come back if you want to.

Tips about approaching children’s services
As well as there being no contact you say dad does not get a response to his phone calls from the social worker and is not kept informed. You could encourage dad (or you could help him?) to put his requests in writing. He could email the social worker and send a copy to the team manager setting out the following:.
• His name, address and phone number.
• He would like to be consulted and kept informed about the plans for his daughter-if he has parental responsibility remind them of this.
• He would like to attend all meetings that are held about his daughter (if they don’t agree -the reason why and how can he be helped to be involved with the planning for his daughter.
• He would like to have contact with his daughter as soon as possible and what are the social workers views. He understands that this contact may have to be supervised until he has been assessed.
• Name of any family or friends who could be involved with supervising contact. The social worker could then assess them to check that they would be able to protect your niece from any possible harm that dad’s alcohol use may cause. For example-it would be normal that if dad was under the influence of alcohol then his contact would not happen-it could be too dangerous for your niece.
• His other daughter wishes to have contact with your niece
• Will there be any family meeting or family group conference to make decisions about the long term future? Here is a link to our advice sheet about family group conferences?
family Group conferences

• Ask that the social worker respond to the email in 7 days. (if she doesn’t then you or dad may want to send a reminder or then consider emailing or writing to the service manager or head of children’s services).

As well as dad writing-you as aunt could also contact children’s services:
• And ask that your details be kept on the file.
• If there is a family meeting you may want to be involved in that.
• Could you be a link in the paternal extended family?
• What about contact between the siblings? Could you remind children services that this has not taken place? Could you be assessed as someone who could supervise this or be involved in the practicalities? ( if dad continues to abuse alcohol-he may not be reliable).

These are some pointers but please post back if you have any other questions or want more specific advice about contact. I don’t know whether other posters have any advice they could give?

Best wishes,

Suzie