contact

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tomika
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:23 pm

contact

Post by tomika » Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:13 pm

ive not posted for ages as my case has been delayed more than once but basically ive received a letter from the contact centre asking me to go an meet with them. I knew it was coming but im still having a hard time coping with it.

my nephew is nearly 10 now and refusing to go and see his dad for the same reasons described in my other posts. only now hes older its much harder to tell him he has no choice. Also he dislikes his dad even more because he denied everything his kids have said which makes it sound like my nephew is a liar, he also called my nephew gay rather a lot as a joke and he knows what it means now whereas he didnt aged 6 and 7.

the judge ordered some supervised visits then reports. when a child is scared of an adult and already thinks the court doesnt believe him how is he going to behave? i already know. he will sit quiet as a mouse and do whatever his dad wants including play like nothings wrong. why would the judge put him through that. his wishes and feelings report was clear and they dismissed it.

i cant protect him ive tryed and its ruining my life. my nephew will be to scared to protest and he will have to go back and be bullied and not taken care of again.

i dont even no what response i want i just cant cope

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 6:33 pm

Re: contact

Post by Kate » Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:11 pm

Tomika, I'm sorry this is still causing so much stress and upset for you and your nephew. I haven't any experience of this but just wanted to respond wishing you luck. You never know, when you go for the contact centre meeting it might give you the opportunity to express why you feel so strongly that it's damaging to your nephew to be pressured into seeing his dad. I just looked through your old posts and I think it would help to list everything of concern that you wrote in them, and to make it clear that you believe it's emotionally damaging and abusive to your nephew to be forced into seeing his dad when he's made it so clear he doesn't want to. The behaviour you describe when he does have to go sounds like classic submission in the face of a threatening situation (it may not be physically threatening but emotionally it obviously is) Sitting quiet, not causing any trouble, acting as if nothing's wrong, trying not to be noticed etc. He shouldn't be made to go through this at ten, he is old enough to know what he wants and doesn't want, and I hope this meeting gives you the chance to get this recognised.

tomika
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: contact

Post by tomika » Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:31 pm

thats exactly it, submission. Its hard for me to explain but you hit the nail on the head. Thank you both. I will be so glad when this passes...

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