Update on the Nutty One

[Kate]

The abuse is emotional and mental and it's going to stop.

I'm going to ring the NSPCC tomorrow morning, and try to get an appointment with my solicitor.

-----------

Good for you Aunty Lucy, it really must stop. Wishing you strength and good luck.

[Aunty Lucy]

I've just spoken to an advisor at the NSPCC, I wasn't sure if they could help but it did help just to actually talk to someone about it!

She did try to advise, but I've already done everything she said.

Going to make an appointment with the solicitor as soon as I can.

[Kate]

Glad it helped to talk to NSPCC even though they couldn't suggest anything you're not doing already - at least you know you are doing all you can. Hope the solicitor can help you get this sorted out.

[mama t]

hi i would personally stop all contact and force her hand to take you to court for a contact order as it should be her who applys for one not you, in the mean time i would apply for prohibbited order that irene suggested as it seems more appropriate.

good luck
love n light mama t

mama t
www.whyitsallaboutthem.com

[Aunty Lucy]

quote:Originally posted by mama t

hi i would personally stop all contact and force her hand to take you to court for a contact order as it should be her who applys for one not you, in the mean time i would apply for prohibbited order that irene suggested as it seems more appropriate.

good luck
love n light mama t

mama t
www.whyitsallaboutthem.com


I think that's what I'm going to do mamma t, although it gets worse when I do stop contact, they tend to go behind my back more and arrange secret meets with him.
I've told him the score, ie I have no problem with him going to visit as long as his aunt and uncle and everyone else is honest and upfront and I know where he is and who he's with, but if he tells me any lies about meeting them in the future I will take his phone and laptop away. Him lying to me is his responsibility and I think I got through with that.
The footie team play at home this weekend, so we'll see what happens, but I'm expecting him to lose his phone and laptop if I'm honest.
Then I'll go to see her, tell her contact is stopped and why and sit back and wait.
I don't think she will go to court though because she is too afraid of what I know about her and what I can say in court, she's told too many lies.
Couldnt get hold of my solicitor today but I'll try again later in the week.

[old bear]

hi lucy,
the trouble with nuts is they can be detrimental to the health. it's not just that they have a high calorific content (and several of us have confessed a need to keep that under control) ~ but some people are allergic to nuts ~ and worse case scenario is they can induce an anaphylactic shock reaction.
i think the trouble with your nutty one is that we're all looking at legal and reasonable ways of keeping your nephew's consumption under control ~ but she ignores everything reasonable and legal and gets under his skin anyway.
i think mama t's right ~ you should make her (tno) go to the effort of trying for a contact order ~ then if/when she does you can take all your notes and evidence of her behaviour to court and she'll get a very reduced amount of contact plus have to behave reasonably.
or perhaps you could get your solicitor to draw up a contract for contact ~ she agrees to your terms (not too often, no junk food, no lies, no subterfuge, etc, ~ contract has to be signed in solicitor's office ~ might make her realise you're being serious.
and the threat this time should be that if she doesn't comply you take out an injunction against her ~ to keep her away from your nephew (and if you did succeed in getting an unjunction and she went against it she could end up in jail).
if indeed this was a nut allergy we were talking about, you'd have no alternative but to treat it seriously and not give any leeway. my one complaint to you (and i know it's very mean of me to complain at all ~ please don't take me wrong here) is that you're too easy on her!
BUT ~ i'm rather concerned that you're going to let her appalling behaviour interfere with your relationship with your nephew ~ if you take away his laptop and mobile phone (which he presumably uses for other things besides contact with his nutty relative) he'll resent you for it ~ and it's really not his fault that he has that nutty relative. plus it may escalate ~ and you'd end up in a situation that you've been trying for so long to avoid.
and so, however you decide to play it, i wish you all the strength you need to get through it,
and all my best wishes,
old bear