residency order

[crucial]

hi my wife and i are grandparents who have a residency order for our 5 yr old grandson, our sons girlfriend was the respondent, our son signed his permission for us to get the order and had no further involvement in the case, no arrangement was made for contact with him however we let him have overnight stays on a friday(not always taken) our grandson does not always like to go, now our son has a new girlfriend whom he has bought a house with and now says he wants his son back after 3years, what can we do to make sure this does not happen, our grandson does not want to live with him, where do we stand? we are sick with worry and would rather not fall out with our son but our grandson must come first.

[crucial]

hes 5 yrs old he stays at his dads friday or saturday its a bit on off ie: when it suits him. day to day stuff and his general well being is left to us, no records are made as the courts made no allowances for him as he had to sign off on permission for us to go for residency, C(grandson) was not fed as a toddler and was gravely ill as a result, at the time he was with his mum and dad. his mother has access which is rarely kept to and we are certain she would rather he stayed with us than his dad.

[Robin D]

You can of course do almost anything with the support of all those with PR. That means mum has to agree to significantly more time being spent with Dad, or a change of residence, or she could take it back to court.

If the court gets involved, they will want to see that there has been a significant change in circumstances, and will also apply the welfare principle of what is considered best for the child. Its difficult to predict quite what the outcome might be if the court decides given that he and new girl have bought a house together which shows some commitment. However, they will also want to be sure that his new partner knows what she will be taking on!

Any transfer of care, either agreed or 'ordered by the court', needs to be done gradually.

Finally, if social services were involved, you need to contact them and seek their views on Dad becoming the primary carer. They may be sufficiently concerned as to want to check it out for themselves or even to attempt to prevent it.

Totally agree about the need to keep good records.

Best wishes ...... Robin

[David Roth]

Hi crucial

One thing to remember is that the court's guiding principle whenever they have to make a decision of this sort is that their paramount consideration has to be what is in the child's best interests.

If you were to look at this objectively, what do you think should happen that would be in the best interests of your grandson's welfare? He has been with you for three years. Is he secure and settled with you? Is there a good reason for disrupting his placement with you? Insofar as your grandson's wishes and feelings can be ascertained, what do you think they are?

If your son is concerned about the boy's welfare, he ought to appreciate that after three years this isn't necessarily going to be an easy thing to arrange, even if it was decided that the best thing was for him to move. Do you think there is any possibility of talking reasonably to your son about this? It might look as if it's heading for a court contest, but this isn't always the best way of sorting things out - if it's difficult to discuss these matters with him, it may be that mediation could help you and him to communicate.