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Post by bl1234 » Tue May 09, 2017 10:34 am

My teen brother is 15 with learning disabilitys when social services first got involved i was 17 meaning i was involved i have now turned 18 before this me and the social worker have a very tense relationship because of things which that happened between use now i have turned 18 she has become even harder to deal with me and my mum are not completley talking and this is making the contact with my brother very hard. I have contact for 2 hourse on a wednesday and my mum and grandma for 2 hours but now she is refusing this and is trying to get in a contact center for no explanation how can i stop this can i stop this.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Contact

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon May 15, 2017 12:48 pm

Dear bl1234

Thank you for your post. I am sorry that you are finding it hard to get on with your younger brother’s social worker and that there are going to be changes made to how you see your brother. As you are now 18 and an adult your relationship with the social worker is different to when you were younger when they may have been your social worker too? Problems between you and your mum aren’t helping either. Maybe you can ask for some support to help you and your mum with your relationship, perhaps from your GP or your school/college.

Ied53 is right that you can always contact the social worker’s manager if you can’t get any answers from the social worker about why these changes are being made to contact. It is likely to be because your brother in some way is not coping well with the current arrangements. If your brother is in foster care he should also have an Independent Reviewing Officer who oversees all his plans including contact. Your brother’s care plan should say what contact there should be between siblings. You could let the IRO know your worries about the changes and how you want to keep in touch with your brother in the best way you can. You can also try to find out what would need to happen for contact to go back to how it used to be.

You probably can’t stop the changes happening because as a sibling you don’t have the legal right to decide exactly what should and should not happen for your brother. But sibling relationships are really important and everybody involved in working with your brother should recognise this and try to find a way to make sure that the right contact arrangements are made for him. Government guidance says that siblings should meet where children feel safe and supported. You can find out more about this in our contact for children in care advice sheet.

If you are still unhappy about the plans for contact once you have found out more about why it is changing then you can get further advice from a solicitor or from Family Rights Group advice service. If you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open Monday to Friday from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

There is also an organisation called Siblings Together which helps promote contact between siblings who are separated from each other. You might want to have a look at their website.

I hope this is helpful

Best wishes


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