Did i make a mistake and paid heavilly for it?

welshwitch52
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue May 20, 2014 7:30 am

Did i make a mistake and paid heavilly for it?

Postby welshwitch52 » Thu May 29, 2014 8:35 am

My son and daughter in law have just split up after having a very volatile relationships that caused domestic violence on both sides although there was no physical violence but a lot of arguments and the
Police being called several times. Their 2 children were put on the 'at risk' register and my son had a restraining order against him , my daughter in law tried to drop the order and was told by Social Services they would seriously consider taking them to court and have the children put in care if they tried. They continued to have contact and were caught being together, SS have now moved my daughter in law away and has advised her not to allow any of our family to have contact until we have a 'risk assessment' done as we knew they were in contact but we failed to inform social services. They are now saying we
put the children in more danger. I must state the children were never physically harmed.

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ied53
Posts: 2103
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: Did i make a mistake and paid heavilly for it?

Postby ied53 » Thu May 29, 2014 4:45 pm

If you included your son then yes you did "place them in danger" especially if you knew they were not to be together. Domestic violence is abuse the children would have been terrified by the arguing. It doesn't have to be directed at them to be abuse towards them it just has to happen and frighten them. This is emotional abuse.
You put in writing your request for contact ask to be risk assessed and state clearly that you are aware that any contact will not include your son unless otherwise directed. We had unsupervised contact and stated we would not include our son. Circumstances for us that neither parent would be allowed to care for the children so we have full custody now.
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 434
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Did i make a mistake and paid heavilly for it?

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri May 30, 2014 12:48 pm

Dear welshwitch52

My name is Suzie, one of the Family Rights Group's online advisers.

I am sorry that you have Children's Services involvement and struggling to see your grandchildren at this time. As stated by ied53, the Local Authority will be concerned about the children's exposure to domestic abuse and the impact on their physical and emotional wellbeing.

For this reason it will be crucial to fully engage with any risk assessments undertaken by the Local Authority so they can be satisfied what level of contact (and with whom) is in the children's best interests.

You may find it useful to refer to our child protection and child arrangement orders (these have replaced residence and contact order) advice sheets and refer to the : National Domestic Violence Helpline for further information about some of the key issues involved.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie

welshwitch52
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue May 20, 2014 7:30 am

Re: Did i make a mistake and paid heavilly for it?

Postby welshwitch52 » Mon Jun 02, 2014 7:18 pm

Thanks Suzie for your reply, we went for the 'risk assessment' on Friday and waiting for Social Services to decide if we can have contact.


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