getting contact with my grandchildren

nannydunn
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:51 pm

getting contact with my grandchildren

Postby nannydunn » Sun Apr 27, 2014 7:33 pm

my grandchildren were removed from their parents home under a voluntary agreement for one night due to the conditions they were living in absolute squalor the social worker called and asked us to go and collect them after long discussions with the parents who would not let us in the flat to start with and when we did get as far as the lounge it was heartbreaking to think my two grandchildren had been living like that we took the children and had them for four days after which the parents requested their return we were concerned that they could not have possibly made enough improvement to the home for it to be habitable in such a short space of time but the social worker team manager said that lots of families live like that so home they went we continued to have the children each weekend as we had done with my granddaughter since she was five weeks old although we had never been allowed the boy until that day with the social worker they continued to bring them down to the car we were not allowed in the flat although they assured us that they had cleaned it up at the end of November our son left the flat under advice of the social worker and came to live with us the social worker said he would be able to get accommodation if he stayed with us and could make a life with the children away from the flat that was not going to happen all they were offered was b and b during this time we received a letter telling us there was to be a child protection conference and we were invited. which we attended our son refused to come with us and made his own way there when we arrived he was there with the childrens mother who was causing a sean and refusing to come into the meeting if we were there our son came in and we told him he might not like what he was going to hear at which point he became abusive and left the room it was decided that the conference would be held in two parts first with us and then with the parents we were asked to go and have a coffee and they would phone us and let us know the results it was decided that the children would stay with us under a section 20 with the parents consent which they did we had many visits from social workers telling us we should apply to foster the children which we did but were refused due to overcrowding we have two adult children still living at home. we were then told by a new social worker to apply for a residency order and he would get the forms and seek help with paying for it all wrong we have since found out they could not do this if we have been turned down by fostering any how the children stayed with us and we applied for child benefit suddenly the parents removed their consent the children were taken in to foster care we weren't even given the chance to say goodbye and now we cannot even see them as the parents say so social service shut down they do everything they can to avoid talking to us we wrote complaints about how we have been treated but they seem to cling together like magnets and you cannot get anywhere they have a reason for everything even telling us that they say somethings because that's what people want to hear. what chance have we got of ever seeing our grandchildren now we have had our granddaughter every weekend since she was five weeks old she is now five and a half we have never been this long without seeing her it is nine weeks now. does anyone have any suggestions has to win with social services and uncooperative parents please posting.php?mode=post&f=15#

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David Roth
Posts: 2022
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:14 am

Re: getting contact with my grandchildren

Postby David Roth » Thu May 01, 2014 3:24 pm

Hi nannydunn, and welcome to the family and friends carers' discussion forum.

I am very sorry to hear about the experiences you have been through, it sounds as if it has been a very upsetting and distressing time for everyone.

I am sorry that you did not find us earlier, while the children were still living with you, as we could have advised you about how to respond to the issues that were raised in the assessment. Even although the social workers gave overcrowding as the reason for turning you down as foster carers, you could have argued that Family and Friends Care Statutory Guidance 2011 states that social workers should try to work with housing authorities for family and friends carers to be rehoused into larger accommodation, if housing is a problem.

I am also not clear from what you have said whether you were given temporary fostering approval when the children were placed with you, while the full assessment was being carried out. From what you have said, if it was the local authority who placed the children with you then you should have been given temporary fostering approval, and paid the full fostering allowance, while the social workers did the full fostering assessment. If this wasn't the case, you could have grounds for making a complaint: see our Advice Sheet 25 for guidance on how to go about this http://www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-advice/advice-sheets

However, as there is no court order in place, then the parents remain the only ones with Parental Responsibility for the children. This means that the parents are within their rights to state who can and cannot see the children, and they do have a say in where the children will be placed.

I would suggest however that you make the local authority aware, in writing, that you want to be considered for raising the children in the future if the need ever arises. If the local authority ever decides to go for care proceedings, then you should state that you want them to place the children with you, and you could state that you are willing to address the issue of overcrowding by being rehoused into larger accommodation, in case they try to use that as a reason for ruling you out again.

If you want to discuss your situation with a Family Rights Group adviser, you could call our freephone advice line - 0808 801 0366, open 9.30am-3pm Monday-Friday.
David Roth
FRG Policy Adviser

nannydunn
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:51 pm

Re: getting contact with my grandchildren

Postby nannydunn » Thu May 01, 2014 5:03 pm

thank you for the advice we have a meeting with the childrens parents and social services on Tuesday hopefully to sort out some contact although they are saying only the older child as the two year old is not old enough to say if he wants contact with us ? we did not know about the temporary fostering allowance but then they will do any thing to avoid paying money we had to fight to get £30.00 a week fuel allowance when my husband was doing 20 miles a day taking my granddaughter to and from school we will defiantly put a request in writing to have the children as their parents are currently undertaking a parenting assessment which social workers think they will probably fail thank you again for the advice

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David Roth
Posts: 2022
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:14 am

Re: getting contact with my grandchildren

Postby David Roth » Wed May 07, 2014 11:02 am

nannydunn, if you think that you should have been getting paid the temporary fostering allowance, then you could make a formal complaint to the local authority about them not paying you.

If you look at our advice sheet 25, it takes you though the procedures for making a formal complaint: http://www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-advice/advice-sheets - it could be worth a call to our advice line, as our advisers could advise you about the legal grounds that would be the basis for making a complaint.
David Roth
FRG Policy Adviser

nannydunn
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:51 pm

Re: getting contact with my grandchildren

Postby nannydunn » Wed May 07, 2014 7:05 pm

Thamk you I will try and call them what times are the lones open please

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Robin D
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: getting contact with my grandchildren

Postby Robin D » Thu May 08, 2014 5:42 am

Hi nannydunn.

You can call free on 0808 801 0366. The hours are Monday - Friday 9.30am-3.00pm.

You may struggle to get through, but keep at it as you will find them very helpful.

Good luck ...... Robin
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

nannydunn
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:51 pm

Re: getting contact with my grandchildren

Postby nannydunn » Sun May 11, 2014 6:42 pm

thank you I will call them had a meeting with s.w and the childrens mother re contact we are going to get 2hours a fortnight at a contact centre with everything we say and do recorded and if she doesn't approve contact will be withdrawn she holds all the cards but at least its contact I feel we will never get to see them alone or have the special relationship we had with our granddaughter by having her to stay every weekend like we had since she was five weeks old
I feel we are being treated as though we have been the ones abusing and neglecting the children not their parents and all we done for them counts for nothing my son didn't even turn up for the meeting apparently all he wanted to do was come and argue I some times wish we had never gone to the flat that night last October. just feel really down and fed up life seems so very unfair at the moment

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ied53
Posts: 2105
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: getting contact with my grandchildren

Postby ied53 » Sun May 11, 2014 6:44 pm

From little acorns mighty oaks do grow.
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do

nannydunn
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:51 pm

Re: getting contact with my grandchildren

Postby nannydunn » Sun May 11, 2014 7:03 pm

yes but very slowly I guess I'm just coming across as impatient
just so desperate to see them 10 weeks seems like a life time never gone more than a week without seeing them


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