SGO nightmare
Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:32 pm
I have had an SGO for 2 years for my nephew who is 3 He has contact with his mother once a month, which my mother supervises. His father (my brother) is out of the picture. she has gone on to have another child and that child was removed at birth. I know my rights regarding the SGO etc but one thing I am unsure about is what if he decided that he wanted to live with her when he gets to 8-9? She has said that she will take me to court and fight it as she said her solicitor said that my nephew would be able to choose where he lives when he gets to that age. I don't actually believe at 8 he can decide where he wants to live but what happens when he is 14? what happens then?
I am just wondering if the the same rules would still apply if he wanted to live with her? would she have to apply for leave from the court and would she then still have to undergo a parenting assessment? (Its alright for her as she would get her legal aid but I would not as my income would be too high.)
She clearly has not changed at he moment but whose to say what she is going to be like in 4-5 years time? She might have made a significant change by then.
The other child's guardians are letting her have contact with that child whenever she wants it but I have stuck to once a month. Which is obviously causing me no end of problems. As I am the 'bad guy' as I have not budged with this. What is the likelihood she will get more contact if she took me to court because of the extra contact with has with the other child? She also reckons when hes older she is going to tell him she wanted to see him more but I would not let her.
She is still getting into trouble with the law and is still on drugs. What rights do I have to stop contact altogether if she keeps going to prison and has to miss contact because of that? I don't think it's fair to him that one month she will see him then she might not turn up for a couple of months because she is in prison.
I feel like packing up and moving abroad but I am not allowed to do that as I am not allowed to take him out of the country for more than three months at a time I could get a good job abroad and I would have done it eventually but cannot now.
I feel a little despondent as I feel that I was at the peak of my career and enjoying having my freedom back as my biological children have grown up and now I am doing it all again! I know she is his mother but how can she think she can just mess with his life, my life and my husbands life by saying she WILL have him back. My view is she should have thought about this when she had an opportunity to sort herself out (she was not on drugs when she had him or until he was about 1) So she really did not have any excuse to behave as she did or to neglect him. It makes me so mad, as she doesn't even ring me to see how he is.
Sorry this is a bit of an angry message, but right now that is how I feel. I have tried to be nice to her but she is full of promises and all she is going to do for him, but nothing ever materialises not that I want anything from her as I really do not. I can't stand the thought that she will let him down time and time again.
Thanks for listening and any advice will be great
I am just wondering if the the same rules would still apply if he wanted to live with her? would she have to apply for leave from the court and would she then still have to undergo a parenting assessment? (Its alright for her as she would get her legal aid but I would not as my income would be too high.)
She clearly has not changed at he moment but whose to say what she is going to be like in 4-5 years time? She might have made a significant change by then.
The other child's guardians are letting her have contact with that child whenever she wants it but I have stuck to once a month. Which is obviously causing me no end of problems. As I am the 'bad guy' as I have not budged with this. What is the likelihood she will get more contact if she took me to court because of the extra contact with has with the other child? She also reckons when hes older she is going to tell him she wanted to see him more but I would not let her.
She is still getting into trouble with the law and is still on drugs. What rights do I have to stop contact altogether if she keeps going to prison and has to miss contact because of that? I don't think it's fair to him that one month she will see him then she might not turn up for a couple of months because she is in prison.
I feel like packing up and moving abroad but I am not allowed to do that as I am not allowed to take him out of the country for more than three months at a time I could get a good job abroad and I would have done it eventually but cannot now.
I feel a little despondent as I feel that I was at the peak of my career and enjoying having my freedom back as my biological children have grown up and now I am doing it all again! I know she is his mother but how can she think she can just mess with his life, my life and my husbands life by saying she WILL have him back. My view is she should have thought about this when she had an opportunity to sort herself out (she was not on drugs when she had him or until he was about 1) So she really did not have any excuse to behave as she did or to neglect him. It makes me so mad, as she doesn't even ring me to see how he is.
Sorry this is a bit of an angry message, but right now that is how I feel. I have tried to be nice to her but she is full of promises and all she is going to do for him, but nothing ever materialises not that I want anything from her as I really do not. I can't stand the thought that she will let him down time and time again.
Thanks for listening and any advice will be great