Help,im totally confused/worried!

peggytoof
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:08 pm

Help,im totally confused/worried!

Postby peggytoof » Thu Mar 15, 2012 3:08 pm

Hi there,im a worried auntie,my niece has been removed from her mum & put in foster care.Myself & my husband have offered to take her in & have had 2 meetings with ss.Nothing has been decided yet,but its looking positive so far.
My only major worry is can we afford it financially? We have a mortgage to pay for ect,we both work full time,although our employers are very understanding there may be times when we have to take time off unpaid.Since researching the matter i've heard lots of horror stories about ss trying to get away with paying little or nothing to help! As yet we are not sure under what title we may be caring for her under,kinship care,SGO,residence order ect.We have no savings & earn a combined salary of approx £38,000 p/a.We cannot afford to pay for legal advice to help find out the best way to continue forward ,any advice would be gratfully accepted.Thanks

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Robin D
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: Help,im totally confused/worried!

Postby Robin D » Thu Mar 15, 2012 4:09 pm

Hi Peggytoof. You are welcome here.

You are also quite right to be concerned. Can I suggest you start by reading and understanding the advice sheet number 21 'Support for relatives and friends who are caring for children' which you will find free at http://www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-advice/advice-sheets.

I also suggest that you make sure you write down everything that is said including dates and times, and start keeping a detailed diary of everything to do with the case. It will be invaluable later to be able say that on a certain day, a specific person said a specific thing. Also get as much as you can in writing from SS. It can be a useful tool to follow up significant meetings etc with a letter detailing your understanding. I.e. If the sw comes round and suggests you apply for a residence order, SGO etc and that they will support you, write to them as soon as possible (within a couple of days) saying that further to the meeting on [date] at [location] you understand that it is the wish of the local authority that you apply for a [name of order] and that they will provide you with full support including financial support. If they disagree, they will have to say so then and make clear what the offer is.

You might also want to call the advice line as shown on teh linked page to discuss your options confidentially.

Best wishes ....... Robin
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

peggytoof
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:08 pm

Re: Help,im totally confused/worried!

Postby peggytoof » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:59 am

thanks sooo much Robin,i text the sw who's dealing with us at the minute to ask what we're being accessed for,she says its to be a "family & friends foster carer" leading possibly to a SGO.Im even more worried now as on the boards of this site it seems if you "take that road" the ss might try & stitch you up financially.We are really keen my niece comes to us(its that or a stranger)but we are ordinary folk who in an ideal world would pay for everything willingly,but as it is we wouldnt be able to manage financially.We have had 2 meetings with the sw so far,she says she will write her report as positive,then it will be passed on to the "kinship care team".The waiting is unbearable,untill we know if & when she's coming we cant arrange anything with regards to work.kind regards xx

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Robin D
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: Help,im totally confused/worried!

Postby Robin D » Sun Mar 18, 2012 8:09 pm

peggytoof wrote:.... a "family & friends foster carer" leading possibly to a SGO.


I think that's actually good news. If you are a F&F foster carer, they LA have to pay you the full fostering allowance which makes it much more difficult for them to then duck there responsibilities if an SGO is granted.

As foster parents you do not have parental responsibility (PR), the local authority have effectively all the control although the parents also retain it. It also means you have to ask SS every time you want to do anything. However, the big benefit is that you get the full financial allowance.

With an SGO, you get the PR and share it with the parents, although you have the right to exercise PR to the exclusion of others. The LA also have to assess you for support, including financial support. Look on the advice sheet page again and read up on the various options, You should find advice sheets 2, 9, 12 and 22 very useful.

Hope it all goes well for you.

best wishes ... Robin
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

LLB
Posts: 541
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 9:10 pm

Re: Help,im totally confused/worried!

Postby LLB » Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:41 pm

Robin D wrote:
peggytoof wrote:.... a "family & friends foster carer" leading possibly to a SGO.


I think that's actually good news. If you are a F&F foster carer, they LA have to pay you the full fostering allowance which makes it much more difficult for them to then duck there responsibilities if an SGO is granted.
. Robin


I totally agree with you Robin. One is in a much better position to get an SGO allowance if one has been a foster carer.

Peggytoof - just get any SGO allowance in writing before you go to court for SGOs.

peggytoof
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:08 pm

Re: Help,im totally confused/worried!

Postby peggytoof » Tue Mar 20, 2012 7:07 am

Thanks guys,im still waiting for any news,its been about 3 weeks since our last meeting with ss.The sw has to write her report & then she hands it to her "kinship care" team.No idea what they do,but im told they will want to set up a meeting with us.I understand they cant rush these things ,but i just feel like im hanging on a string at the moment. Kind regards x Peggytoof


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