new to all this

uncle-da/da
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:47 am
Location: midlands
Contact:

new to all this

Postby uncle-da/da » Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:09 pm

first great finding a safe place to chat in the uk hope your all okay
im an uncle looking after my 2 year old niece by myself after she was place with me by s/s when her mother and fathers home was lost due to drugs and other problems she has been with me now nearly three months ... and we are hoping to move back to the village were i grew up to give her the best start in life

her mother rarely calls if she does its normally screaming but she has made no contact withs/s herself so isnt making a storm even tho i have mentioned i am going for a residency order on serval occasion

not really sure how i ment to feel i love my neice and will always protect her but sometimes feel very alone in this even tho i have my mother on side and helping out and calling daily

User avatar
ied53
Posts: 2100
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: new to all this

Postby ied53 » Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:11 pm

You not alone you have us. Look carefully at the orders to ensure you get one that offers the child and you the most protection. We have a special guardianship order for the ones in our care.
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do

uncle-da/da
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:47 am
Location: midlands
Contact:

Re: new to all this

Postby uncle-da/da » Tue Jan 17, 2012 7:18 pm

well there both heavy users and s/s have said there report is ready to go already had police envolvment .... im looking to have a prohibited steps order put in place at the same time

not sure were else to come at it from but have been to about the sgo in the past asnd its something im looking at after the r/o has been put in place

but its good to know im not a lone

thanks x

User avatar
ied53
Posts: 2100
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: new to all this

Postby ied53 » Tue Jan 17, 2012 10:08 pm

Make sure you have this sorted cos once they have made an order they are unlikely to change it for another.With RO parents have to be consulted and still have a great deal of say in the childs life. With SGO you exercise PR to the exclusion of all others. We felt this offered more protection and a greater permanence.
Irene

Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire

Tough times never last tough people do

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 427
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: new to all this

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jan 18, 2012 1:33 pm

Dear uncle-da/da,

Welcome to the friends and family forum!
Before you make an application for a Residence Order in respect of your niece, have a look at our advice sheet 12 which looks at all the different situations when a child comes into the care of a relative in an emergency.
immediate placement of vulnerable children with relatives

As your niece was placed with you-you may be entitled to be assessed as a foster carer and receive a fostering allowance from the local authority, which should be backdated to the time that your niece came to live with you. However, as soon as a Residence Order (or Interim Residence Order-) is granted by a court then you will no longer qualify for foster care allowance.
This is why sometimes the local authority will push relatives to get a Residence Order as soon as possible-it saves them money!
You can still make an application to court for a Prohibitive Steps Order to get the protection needed against the parents taking your niece.
Special Guardianship Order
Irene is right to mention the other long term order available to you. A Special Guardianship Order is an alternative to Residence Order which also provides “enhanced” parental responsibility. Only in a few circumstances do the parents with parental responsibilty need to be consulted. There is also more support-both practical and financial linked to a Special Guardianship Order-see page 35 onwards on our advice on Special Guardianship Orders here

Special Guardianship Orders
You mention going for a Special Guardianship order later (ie once you already have the Residence Order). However, if you have a Residence Order when you apply for a Special Guardianship Order then this may affect whether children’s services will assess you for support. If your niece is a “looked after” child immediately before the application for a Special Guardianship Order is made, then children’s services MUST carry out an assessment for support. However, if she is subject to a Residence Order, when you apply then they only MAY carry out an assessment for support.
I hope I am not overloading you with information. Please post back!

Best wishes,
Suzie

uncle-da/da
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2012 12:47 am
Location: midlands
Contact:

Re: new to all this

Postby uncle-da/da » Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:33 pm

thanks suzie its very much a mind field at the mo ive just completed level 2 for my local child safeguarding board which brought many things to lite and some potential fails in my neices care whilst with my sister so that have made me go cold as to why she slipped the system when so many other organisation were invloved with the family but my main corncern is she is now safe with me im waiting for my lawyer to get back now that mediation has ended so we can moce forward but on sgo my neices socail worker advised to get r/o first but that makes sense now i have seen about the fosters allowance which is shall look into tomorrow as i am calling him to have police marker placed on mine and mother homes should my sister try to remove her in the interim

really thanks once again for you advice also thanks ied53

Grandad Brian
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 11:04 am

Re: new to all this

Postby Grandad Brian » Wed Feb 08, 2012 4:47 pm

Hi all i am new to this site.
But i need advice with a matter that i never in a million years thought i would ever be talking about,
A little back ground.
I am a grandfather to 6 children from 3 daughters. i am 51 years old, living in the uk,
On the 30th Nov 2011 my world was turned upside down. My daughter came to me with her 8 week old son limp and not breathing, With my first aid back ground i knew he was dead and had been for some time, But while my son-in-law rang for an ambulance i had to do mouth to mouth on my dead grandson. the services arrived and he was rushed to the local hospital with my wife, son-in-law and myself close behind, my other son waited at her house with her other 2 children 3 years and 18 months old, During the time that we were at the hospital i recived a call from my son telling me how the Police and S/S were tearing my daughters house to bits taking photo's drawing plans etc: and it was up setting the other children,
We returned as soon as possable at 1.15pm then at 3.30pm a knock came at the door 2 police officers in plain clothes a child protection officer and a S/S worker stood there and told me they were coming in to remove the other 2 children,
I asked on what grounds and was told well you don't want the other children dead do you. i could not reply i was stuned,
The children were taken away my daughter and her husband get to see them for 3 hours three days a week,
My question here is when do Grand Parents get to see the children as we have asked and asked until we are blue in the face and my daughter just keeps being told to get your dad to back off,
Can anyone advise us please,
Many thanks
Brian

User avatar
David Roth
Posts: 2022
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:14 am

Re: new to all this

Postby David Roth » Wed Feb 08, 2012 5:35 pm

Welcome to the discussion forum, Grandad Brian, even although the circumstances in which you have joined us sound incredibly sad.

My heart went out to you when I read your story. As you say yourself, in just a short period your world has been turned upside down, and I can hardly imagine anything more upsetting than the events you have described to us here. Please accept my condolences on the sad loss of your grandson.

The questions you have asked do bring up some quite complicated issues, to do with the contact children can have with their grandparents, and whether grandparents should be considered as carers for their grandchildren. I'm not able to go into a detailed response at the moment, but an FRG adviser will be able to give you a full answer tomorrow.

If you would like a response that dealt fully with your particular circumstances, then you might want to phone our advice line and speak to one of our adviser, or use the forum's private message facility tomorrow. I am making these suggestions because this forum can be viewed by people who are not members - people might be able to identify you and the children if you provide us with any more information, but we might need to ask you for some more details in order to give you good advice. It could be the sort of discussion that it's best to have away from public view.

If you do want to phone our advice line, the number is free to call from all landlines and most mobiles - it is 0808 801 0366, and the line is open 9.30am to 3.30pm.

Once again, my deepest sympathies on your loss.
David Roth
FRG Policy Adviser

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 427
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: new to all this

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Feb 09, 2012 3:06 pm

My name is Suzie, I am an advisor from the Family Rights Group. This is an organisation that advises families where Children’s Services are involved.

Firstly, can I add to my colleagues post and offer condolences to you and your family in relation to your recent loss of your grandson. Where requested, may I suggest that you cooperate fully with any child protection investigations that are being conducted at this time.

You may be aware that where a child has been removed from its parents, Children’s Services should first look to assess extended family members to see if the child can stay safely living in their own family, before considering unrelated foster carers. Further details can be found on immediate placements of looked after children with relatives or friends.

Children’s Services should also help children who are in care to stay in touch with their family (including grandparents) as long as this is safe for the children. The word for staying in touch is contact, contact can be supervised. To find out more about contact see our advice sheet contact with children in care.

For further support you may wish to contact the following organisations that offer support to families who have lost a child to bereavement.

These are:-

Child Death Helpline

The Child death helpline run a telephone helpline for anyone affected by the death of a child, from pre-birth to the death of an adult child, however long ago, and whatever the circumstances. It is staffed by experienced and trained bereaved parent volunteers.

Freephone number: 0800 282986

http://www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk

Cruse Bereavement Care

Cruse is the largest bereavement support organisation for both adults and children in the UK. They provide one-to-one support to anyone who has suffered bereavement
Telephone helpline: 0844 4779400

SANDS - Still and Neonatal Death Charity

This is an organisation that offers support when a baby dies during pregnancy or after birth.

Telephone Helpline: (020) 7436 5881

http://www.uk-sands.org

May I also suggest that based on your very unusual set of circumstances, and the sensitive nature of the information you have provided in your post, that you contact our advice line that is open Monday to Friday on 0808 801 0366 between 09.30 – 03.30 pm.

Best Wishes



Suzie

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: new to all this

Postby Kate » Sat Feb 11, 2012 12:14 am

Grandad Brian, I am so very sorry to hear of your tragic loss, and of the traumatic circumstances you find yourselves in.

The FRG staff are excellent and much more knowledgeable than I am as a grandparent carer, but I just want to urge you to persist in seeking contact with your grandchildren, who need as much family support as possible in the middle of all this trauma. At the same time you should balance this by making clear that your wish is only to be there for your grandchildren. However much you may feel for your daughter and son-in-law, you have to be able to focus on your grandchildren and their welfare above all else if you are to convince Children's Services that it's in the children's best interests to have contact with you.

If you and your wife do feel able to put yourselves forward as a kinship carer for your grandchildren in the event that they are not returned to their parents, or during the time it takes for a decision to be made about that, you should make this clear to Children's Services by putting it in writing. If you know the name of the children's social worker/s you could send it to them, with a copy to the Team Manager and a copy to the Director of Children's Services. You might also say that it is your understanding that it is their duty to look first to extended family members when looking for someone to care for the children.

Sending you very best wishes and good thoughts.


Return to “Sounding off”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest