just an update

flexi
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:11 pm

just an update

Postby flexi » Sat Jun 25, 2011 10:44 am

hi everyone sorry have not been on in ages hope you are all well xx
Just an update and maybe some advice!
As you are aware i have SGO for my grandaughter after 2 yrs of court and stress :( in Feb last yr mum had a son all the way through the pregnancy she said it was my sons, baby boy was born and things changed we had texts and phone calls tellin us to stay away as he was not my sons, sad to say id had enough and wrote an email to ss sayin i wanted nothing more to do with the situation, one month after baby was born i took gd to see her brother mum was present and it went ok ? 3 weeks on from that mum was arrested and sent to prison ss placed baby with distant relative of mums ( same lady who fought me for gd ) i continued my visists with gd ( 10 hours of traveling for 2 hours of visits ) then in early march dna came back to say my son was father, i ask to be party to proceedigs straight away as i wanted brother and sister together, explained why i wrote email and waited for assesment which came back negative all the issues they suportd me on was now turned against me???????? i continued visits with gd and son all year going up every month for 2 hours traveing for 10 there and back. it is now june baby is 16 months old and has been here twice, mum has just come out of prison and so far clean and trying but back in contact with my son whos has moved on and turned his life around :) i had an assesment by indipendent SW and last week ss said they needed to do another assesment, at a meeting on monday with all the professionals SS have now said they are going to change there final surport plan to place baby with his sibling but need further assesments on my son as he now plays a big part in his daughters life, mum and baby career are dead against baby coming here, ss have ask it to be listed in court asap which is for 6th july, im so scared after finaly haveing this brillient news that something will go wrong, and also worried about the impacted of removeing him from his career after 16 months,
everything is hitting home now and i never thought that ss would change there minds and im scared :(xx


maria
maria

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ied53
Posts: 2100
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: just an update

Postby ied53 » Sat Jun 25, 2011 12:08 pm

you would be amazed how easily babies adapt. Things may be done gradually to allow child to get used to you. Undoubtedly there will be a few sleepless nights as the little one gets used to a change of carer. Remember you have already been through this once and this time you will have some help in Dad. One of hours was 2 3/4 when she moved in . We did get a lot of regressive behaviour ( acting babyish) she settled and so did we. Go with the flow but expect the unexpected. Enjoy


Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do

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David Roth
Posts: 2022
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:14 am

Re: just an update

Postby David Roth » Mon Jun 27, 2011 10:22 am

As Irene has said, if the child moves to you then the local authority would probably not want to move the baby by you just going to collect him one day. Their plan would probably be for the baby to move to you over a period of a week or two. Even if you and the other carers live some distance from each other, they could pay for you to stay in b & b for a few days while you get to fit in with the child's routines and take oveer caring tasks from the current carers. They might also be put up in b & be for a few days near you while the child is settling initially.

However, this would require you and the other carers to work very closely together while the child is making the transition from one carer to the other. If the other carers are opposed to the baby moving to you, they might not co-operate with a move happening in this way. If they won't work with you, then you might end up having to take the child more quickly than would really be good for the child.

David R
FRG Policy Adviser
David Roth
FRG Policy Adviser


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