social sevices

[kez]

please can anybody give me some advice,i have my cousin daughter on a residence order and i have had her 7 1/2 years.i have had not alot of good experience with ss but plenty of bad.the little girl i have has piched self harmed etc and since she was little and last year she was finally diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder and has traits of adha she is on medication for this and also medication to try and make her sleep.she is under cams an recently i was talking into letting her do full circle therapy which meant getting a sw which i was relucant to do,i did the assements and she started therapy then cams decieded to inform me that sw would have to come to my home one every 4 - 6 weeks.these last few weeks have been really hard the pich is very bad and the behaviour at school is really bad i have been called to school,yesterday we had a meeting at school which we do every 6 weeks and i was having an off day and was feeling very low because of everything and the school nurse said she had concerns cos i said i couldnt cope which i never said she told sw to go back to manager and have a word to see what help they could offer me i told them no then sw said cams should come in a morning before school and doing a anger thing with her i said no i would do it when she came home and this would mean her getting into school late,school also said no to that and then they said they wanted action for children to come on a nite daily to make sure kid swere doing chores i also said no to this but cams and sw kept pushing that i stared to cry and left the meeting.i phoned sw later and she said her and the school nurse have concerns cos i was so negative yesterday these meetings went onlong before sw was involved she has only been involved a few months and when i had left the meeting she had asked cams if they had any conerns about me and she said no.this morning i telephoned doctor at cams and explained what had happened he said i am allowed to feel down and negative and that it isnt reflecting on her and that her behaviour will get alot worse before it gets better and he will tell sw this if she asks and he has no concern what so ever and that im doing a good job with her,he also said i could do therapy straight through cams without sw being involved.i told the lady from full circle and she is going to ring me monday to make sure i havnt changed my mind,which i wont.my worry now is would sw still be able to be involved as this was a voluntary thing and she said at the start if i wanted to stop she would just close the case but im worrying incase she can find a way to stay involved i really dont like ss and want nothing to do with them they havnt helped me before just made things worse,
sorry for moaning but one of the sw who came out before everything i said she twisted

[mama t]

hi kez
i can understand your worries but at the moment ss are trying to cut back on as many services as the possibly can so i can't see the sw getting permission to be involved with you as it will save them money if it can be done without there input. i hope the C.A.H.M.S. cN and help you we are getting alot of support from them at the moment as my grandson is unpredictable with his moods and has tried to self harm too please don't feel as if you are on your own on this journey we are here for you and no your not moaning you are venting and we all have to vent somewhere or we would all go mad.


love n light mama t .

mama t
www.whyitsallaboutthem.com

[kez]

Thank you,i do feel like im going mad and im trying my best in a difficult situation

[old bear]

hi kez,
first of all, welcome to the site.
you

[kez]

Hi old bear,i have asked sw for resbite but she says it isnt available in my area.i also have 3 other children my youngest is 2 next month and they are all ivolved with action for children as the other child i had her parents were drug users so because of that i was able to get her in with them and because her behaviour affects my other 2 children we got them involved aswell so they go once a fortnight so i have a break for a few hours then,my family live 1 1/2 hours drive away.i feel like im being pushed into letting cams come in a morning and action for children on a night and they dont seem to listen when im saying no ,i want my kids to grown up without all this interference and im hoping by doing therapy straight through cams sw shouldnt be involved anymore,unless she turns me being down in the dumps into a child protection,nobody else has any probs

[old bear]

hi kez,
morning and night every day sounds like too much, when are they supposed to have "normal family life"? do you know how long both these things are to go on for? short time might be okay?
and if (according to cahms doctor) "her behaviour will get a lot worse before it gets better" ~ where is the support for you?
suggest you speak to the cahms doctor about the effect of having both things running at once ~ does he feel it's okay or too much?
probably obvious to you after all these years, but have you put your requests in writing? people can be forced to do "the right thing" that way ~ whereas they can pretend they thought you were happy with the idea if there's no written record.
good luck with it ~ and hope you get your strength back soon.
old bear

[kez]

no my family cant,yes everything from everybody is postive apart from sw and school nurse who has seen the child once when she weighed her,ill manage i always do but i had panicked that sw would find a way to stay involved but i feel alot brighter today so thanks to you all

[kez]

true