SGO
Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2019 5:05 pm
New to the site and hope someone can help me with some advice. A friend of ours has a 3yr old nephew who is currently in care with foster parents because her brother (childs father) effectively abandoned him after the child's mother moved back to Russia. The father struggled to cope on his own and dropped his son off with social services. I think his intention was to give him a break and get his son back but he's been in care since. The father has anger issues and this has been evident when social services have spoken to him about his son and he has displayed such behaviour in front of them when he hears something he doesn't agree with, acting quite aggressively shouting and swearing. Basically not doing himself any favours. The child mother then decided that she wanted her son back and told social services that she fled a violent relationship that their son witnessed. However, after a while she decided against trying to get her son back.
My wife and I were asked by the aunt if we'd consider fostering her nephew either short or long term as she considers us as family. She was unable to take her nephew in herself because she has 2 young children and doesn't have the space. My wife and I agreed to help out and said we would foster the child and then began numerous visits with SS who decided we would be suitable to foster him.
However, towards the end of the process and assessments the goalposts were moved by SS who now told us that the child would be placed with us under a SGO! Now neither my wife or I had never heard of the SGO and it's only when I asked the SW what it was that it all became clear. We both told the SW that the SGO would mean that we would get no financial support other than a means tested grant but not a regular payment as you would fostering. We were also told that the child would stay with us until he reached 18 and there would be little intervention from SS unlike fostering.
We told SS that we couldn't afford to look after another child on a single wage and that financial support to look after a child would go a long way. We already have a daughter who will be 15 soon and we know how expensive they can be. We also told SS that the SGO was never on the table for discussion and we only agreed to foster. So we said no to the SGO and the court decided that long term fostering is not the ideal environment for the child who would benefit from as little change and intervention from SS to keep it as normal as possible for him.
At the time of writing the child is still with his foster parents. We've now been approached by our friend, the child's aunt who is basically saying that unless we agree to look after him under a SGO he'll end up being adopted and they wouldn't see him again if this was to happen. We reiterated that we couldn't afford to look after him. She said she and her siblings would help us financially but they've got kids and family of their own and I don't feel comfortable with this arrangement. What if their circumstances change and the support stops?
She then mentioned that her brother can apply to have the SGO discharged say after 12 months and his son can go back to him? I beg to differ and said it wouldn't be that simple and from what I've read online and on this site is that parents can apply to have an SGO discharged but this is very difficult and the parent would need to show that they've made significant steps to show they are capable and can prove to the court that they are suitable to have the child back with them. I feel that my wife and I are being forced into a corner. We understand their plight and the thought of not having their son/nephew in their life would be awful for anyone. But I've still got my family to consider and feel that by going down the SGO route would cause stress in my home, not to mention financial issues.
Sorry for my long winded opening post but we both feel that we are unable to go ahead with this and know that it would probably end the relationship with our friend.
Can someone please comment on the SGO being discharged and is it at easy as they think? Thank you in advance.
My wife and I were asked by the aunt if we'd consider fostering her nephew either short or long term as she considers us as family. She was unable to take her nephew in herself because she has 2 young children and doesn't have the space. My wife and I agreed to help out and said we would foster the child and then began numerous visits with SS who decided we would be suitable to foster him.
However, towards the end of the process and assessments the goalposts were moved by SS who now told us that the child would be placed with us under a SGO! Now neither my wife or I had never heard of the SGO and it's only when I asked the SW what it was that it all became clear. We both told the SW that the SGO would mean that we would get no financial support other than a means tested grant but not a regular payment as you would fostering. We were also told that the child would stay with us until he reached 18 and there would be little intervention from SS unlike fostering.
We told SS that we couldn't afford to look after another child on a single wage and that financial support to look after a child would go a long way. We already have a daughter who will be 15 soon and we know how expensive they can be. We also told SS that the SGO was never on the table for discussion and we only agreed to foster. So we said no to the SGO and the court decided that long term fostering is not the ideal environment for the child who would benefit from as little change and intervention from SS to keep it as normal as possible for him.
At the time of writing the child is still with his foster parents. We've now been approached by our friend, the child's aunt who is basically saying that unless we agree to look after him under a SGO he'll end up being adopted and they wouldn't see him again if this was to happen. We reiterated that we couldn't afford to look after him. She said she and her siblings would help us financially but they've got kids and family of their own and I don't feel comfortable with this arrangement. What if their circumstances change and the support stops?
She then mentioned that her brother can apply to have the SGO discharged say after 12 months and his son can go back to him? I beg to differ and said it wouldn't be that simple and from what I've read online and on this site is that parents can apply to have an SGO discharged but this is very difficult and the parent would need to show that they've made significant steps to show they are capable and can prove to the court that they are suitable to have the child back with them. I feel that my wife and I are being forced into a corner. We understand their plight and the thought of not having their son/nephew in their life would be awful for anyone. But I've still got my family to consider and feel that by going down the SGO route would cause stress in my home, not to mention financial issues.
Sorry for my long winded opening post but we both feel that we are unable to go ahead with this and know that it would probably end the relationship with our friend.
Can someone please comment on the SGO being discharged and is it at easy as they think? Thank you in advance.