Newbie here

DefaultNana
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Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:29 pm

Newbie here

Postby DefaultNana » Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:09 am

Hi everyone, I along with my husband look after 2 children for the last 7 years with sgo being granted 6 years ago. My husband's daughter is once again making noises about attempting to overturn sgo but this time is taking things to court to apply for leave to overturn the order.
We have maintained minimum monthly contact and sometimes more during the last 6 years and it is a 400 mile round trip to do so. We also look after another 2 children under a permanence order. Hubby's daughter is claiming my health and the fact we look after 2 other children as her reasons to overturn the order. I had a stroke in May this year hence her citing my health. I have fully recovered however.
Daughter has now married and has two further children of this marriage who live with her and recently has had care of her husband's children who are of a previous marriage for him. So 4 children live with her presently.
We enjoyed a good relationship with her up till last year when after asking for the children to stay a full fortnight away and us refusing as they had previously only stayed away for 10 days she cut all contact with my husband and only messages me to berate us about something or to check when we will be arriving with the children. Not once in the 6 years since sgo has she come to see the children here and very rarely calls re the kids. We have just to drop them off and go away in her eyes. She doesn't communicate any further than this when previously we all would have a cuppa prior to the journey home. This is what has helped the children accept the situation and they do know something has changed.
Sorry for the rant and the length of post I suppose what I'm asking is..is she likely to succeed in this court action? We have a lawyer but would have to pay to defend ourselves in court should she be granted leave to challenge the sgo.
Thank you for listening/reading ;)

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Newbie here

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Oct 17, 2016 4:08 pm

Dear Default Nana

Welcome to the Family and Friends Carers’ discussion forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you are feeling so upset and concerned about your step daughter’s wish to apply to the court for permission to make an application to discharge the special guardianship order which you have with your husband.

It is always open to a birth parents or anyone else with parental responsibility to seek permission from the court. If they are able to make the full application, this does not mean that it will be successful. The court’s main concern is going to be what is best for the child or children in question. In you case the children have been settled with you for 7 years, their mother will have to give evidence to the court to show that the status quo i.e. their current situation should be changed and that it is their best interest for that to happen.

The case if permission is granted to the mother, will be looked into very thoroughly, the guardian who represented the children’s interest in what I assume were care proceedings, will be involved in the case or someone else if that person is no longer available. The court will require a report and the person writing the report will be expected to meet with you and your husband, the children and their mother. A recommendation would then be made to the court on whether the special guardianship order should be discharged or not.

As you will be aware, the special guardianship order was made to provide permanence for the children until they reach 18. You will be given the opportunity to put your case to the court about the children and what you believe is best for them.

From you post, you state that the mother did very little to facilitate contact herself and these are the sort of thing which will be taken into account. It is not of course possible to say whether or not her application would be successful but I think she may find it difficult to convince the court that uprooting the children is in their best interest.

You may wish to contact Coram Children’s’ Legal Centre for more information about the application to discharge the special guardianship order. This application will be a private law case.

Since the changes to the availability of legal aid for private law cases, the courts are now very used to litigants in person representing themselves. Your local family court should have a personal support unit (PSU), which can provide assistance at court to person who are not represented.

I have included a copy of our advice sheet . regarding special guardianship and what it means for birth parents. Also here is a copy of our advice sheet about applying for a special guardianship order, if you read from page 37 onwards there is information there about representing yourself at court and other useful information.

You may wish to speak to an adviser and, if so, do telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

DefaultNana
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:29 pm

Re: Newbie here

Postby DefaultNana » Thu Oct 20, 2016 12:49 pm

Thank you Susie for your comprehensive reply how long will it take for the papers to go to court and if not graneed leave will we even be informed? Thank you

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Newbie here

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Oct 21, 2016 2:38 pm

Dear Default Nana

Thank you for posting again.

In response to your question, let me clarify the position, once the court has issued the mother’s application for leave you should receive a copy and notice of the hearing.

You have a special guardianship order and therefore is a respondent in the case. You will be able to raise any objections to the court regarding the leave application.

As a party to the proceedings you will be able to attend the hearing, so will be aware of the judge’s decision in respect of the application.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie

DefaultNana
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:29 pm

Re: Newbie here

Postby DefaultNana » Sun Oct 30, 2016 8:12 am

Well the dreaded day has arrived on Wednesday..I attend the leave hearing in regards to our grand children.
I am terrified, distraught and incensed that two children one of whom I have brought up since she was 10 months old could potentially be returned to a mother who in 6 years along with her older brother only see their mum once a month when we deliver them to her. She has never involved herself in their lives with us and indeed refuses to acknowledge they even have a life outside of her time with them.
If the children were not happy and thriving I could accept this more easily. But they are and we love them dearly.
We never claimed these children as ours they are well aware that mummy and daddy are just that and we understand that it is hugely important that the children retain that contact at all costs. They live in a normal household with normal everyday family stresses with their 2 younger cousins too and we have brought them all up together for the last 3 years.

The biggest irony and slap in the face in all of this had to be the fact that I will attend Wednesday representing myself as we cannot afford to pay a lawyer. Are we working? Yes! Everyday 24/7 but unwaged and unable to go out and earn because we care full time for the children facilitate contacts attend meetings you know the scene am sure and yes we absolutely love it and would do it all again if asked.
On Wednesday I will be composed and put my face on...sInce Thursday evening I have put that face on for the children and shed many many tears once they are in bed.
I will find the strength because of the children. They are the reason we do this mad world every day.
Sorry to rant but it helps that I even wrote this down.
Thank you to anyone that reads this.

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ied53
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Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: Newbie here

Postby ied53 » Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:30 pm

Nothing I can say will take away you fears. Hugs and love to you I do understand what you are going through and would feel the same. I sincerely hope a positive outcome fro you and the children in your care. I would also suggest that you petition for the birth Mother to do the travelling in future
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do

DefaultNana
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:29 pm

Re: Newbie here

Postby DefaultNana » Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:29 am

The birth mother will cite her other children with her husband and his two from a previous marriage as to why she cannot travel yet one of her reasons to try to overturn the sgo is that we have the two other little ones in our care. Nonetheless I thank you for your support I feel less emotional today almost numb I want Wednesday to be over already.
Thank you again

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ied53
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Re: Newbie here

Postby ied53 » Mon Oct 31, 2016 7:34 pm

Then I would argue with her husband she has someone to care for the children while she visits. I would further argue the risk to the children whilst travelling especially in the winter months. and the time they are travelling. Never mind the expense to you detracting on what you can spend on them. You are supposed to facilitate contact not hand it to them on a plate. Cite what they like it is her job to come to the children not for them to be delivered. Hugs from one Granny to a caring Nanny
Irene

Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire

Tough times never last tough people do

DefaultNana
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:29 pm

Re: Newbie here

Postby DefaultNana » Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:45 pm

Thank you so much hopefully all will go as expected tomorrow. Your message is so much appreciated x

DefaultNana
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:29 pm

Re: Newbie here

Postby DefaultNana » Wed Nov 02, 2016 10:33 pm

She's been granted leave purely because she's made such progress in her own life we go back in 16 weeks guardian to be asked to do reports again x


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