A bit of a rant...

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Posts: 39
Joined: Mon May 13, 2013 5:01 pm

A bit of a rant...

Post by Skippy » Thu Aug 18, 2016 10:28 am

We are three years into an SGO, and at home, things are going well. However, I have one bugbear that I can't get past.

The nature of family law cases means that what you learn in court, or during the hearing process, remains confidential. In our case, that includes all the medical reports on the child and parents, psychiatric evaluations, police evidence, etc. which chronicles neglect and harm being caused to the child (I'd say abuse, and wish that they had been prosecuted, but that's not my decision to make). Every expert who came into contact with the family agreed - from teachers to doctors - that there were major problems, which parents strenuously deny.

I know from some of the 'character references' that they submitted that many in their circle had already been drawn in by their lies, and since the court case, they have played the victim to anyone that would listen. I see their Facebook pages (morbid fascination, I think) with posts saying 'I love my son, and I'll always be waiting for you' which, frankly, would terrify the poor lad if he ever saw the posts. I see them joining campaigning groups for injustice in the family courts (forced adoptions is a current favourite - this from a man who told the court he would rather have his son adopted than living with us!), and I have to really hold back from asking how they can possibly have the nerve. They are aligning themselves with people who might have genuine issues and concerns. If those campaigning knew that their cause was being used to garner sympathy from people who really have neglected and harmed a child, they would be mortified.

I follow the rules of the law to the letter - our nephew's life depends on it, and that's not something I would gamble with - but the temptation to post pictures of the squalor in which they were living, or the records of abuse and neglect is huge. And yet this is a frustration that I can't share - even our parents and closest relatives don't know quite how bad things were because, frankly, they don't have the self-restraint not to punch the parents if they found out. And that also makes me angry, because I feel as though we are protecting the parents - for whom I feel nothing but disgust and distain.

I struggle with this anger, which has led me to write this post. I find writing things down helps, and if sharing my experience can help others recognise that they are not alone, that's good. I'm not looking for sympathy - just need to vent this anger once in a while, because it can gnaw and gnaw away at you.

Thanks for listening.

Nanny G
Posts: 61
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:47 pm

Re: A bit of a rant...

Post by Nanny G » Thu Aug 18, 2016 11:53 am

Hello Skippy,
I haven't really got anything constructive to add, but just to say i can understand your frustrations. Luckily i am blocked from my granddaughters mothers facebook, so i don't get to see the 'caring mum' act that i am sure she too will be playing.
I think you hit the nail on the head with the 'morbid fascination' too lol.
In our case mum was very good at smiling sweetly and agreeing to everything said and appearing 'normal ' on the surface, it took some time before anyone saw through the lies, and even now she tries to play the same game - it never lasts, she always falls and cant keep the act up, but it still angers me that she even gets away with it at all now!
the 'system' sucks at times.

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