Granddaughter now calling Nanny " Mummy "

[ozzy3396]

Hi just a quick question. Our 5 year old Gd has just started school and has now started calling her nanny " mummy ". She did this several times during contact yesterday. The parents sent me a text earlier saying it isnt right. We have never encouraged this as we know we are her grandparents. Should we correct her or should we let her decide what she calls her nanny ? We have had the SGO since our granddaughter was 1 year old. Can the parents do anything legally to stop her ? Thanks for reading.

[Celle]

MY daughter has SGO for a little girl. She's had her since she was 14 months old and she has always called my daughter "Mummy," as she has no recollection of her birth mother - she hasn't seen her since she was 5 months old. When they talk about her birth mother, they just use her first name. The little girl, who is just three now, knows that she grew in BM's tummy, but that she came to live with "Mummy and Daddy" because BM was "ill".

This little one's half-sister is placed under an SGO with her birth grandparents. She was four when finally placed there, after being bounced between her mother and her grandparents for a long time.

At the start, she called her grandmother "Nanny" but recently she has started calling her "Mummy", just as your granddaughter is doing. She wants to be just like the other children at school and to be able to talk about her Mummy.

Her birth grandmother hasn't said anything to her about it, because she feels the little girl has had enough to cope with, without being told she can't use a name she obviously wants to use.

In the case of these two little girls, their birth mother has no contact or input, because she has failed to keep all appointments suggested by Children's Services to discuss contact. She hasn't seen her daughters for two and a half years. The older girl remembers what life with their mother was like and says emphatically that she never wants to see her again.

Your situation is different, because your little one's birth parents are on the scene. However, you were granted the SGO because it was felt that you could put the little one's welfare first. To me, that means letting her call you Mummy, if that is what she wants to do. Don't encourage it, but don't tell her she can't. After all, you are acting in the role of her mother and it may make her feel more secure if she can call you Mummy.

Of course her birth parents won't like it, but you can be strong enough to deal with that. They had their chance and they messed it up. It's that little girl's welfare you have to consider now.

[Tryinghard69]

I have a SGO for our niece and she has always called me Mummy. She started initially because my own children called me Mummy but I have never either encouraged it or discouraged it - I would be just as happy if she called me by my first name. When her birth mother heard her use it she was very upset and threatened my niece that her Grandad wouldn't like it if she called me Mummy; this was very upsetting for my niece and she ignored it. I then received an abusive text from birth mother about this about how unacceptable it was and then received a solicitor's letter from birth mother which also said the same. At the time the local authority supported us and wrote back to say that this was a normal developmental issue and for birth mother to back off.

My niece is very aware of the family tree and that I am not her biological mother, but it suits her to call me Mummy, especially at school when it means she fits in with her friends.

I think it's really important for the child to be able to choose what they call you - these children have had so much power taken away from them in their lives that letting them choose this gives them a tiny bit of power back.