Ending an SGO

[Twizzle]

Hi.
I don't know if this is the right place but I am looking for some help/advice.
In July I had my niece come live with me under an sgo(she is 6). I also raised her older sister who has now grown up.
From day one of being approached by social services they witheld and lied to us about alot of relevant info about her mainly regarding her health and the damage she suffered from being born addicted to drugs. We were trying to find out as much info as possible to ensure we would be able to cope with her needs.
Anyway after a couple of months of her living with us we were not coping at all and no matter how hard we try we have had to make the heart breaking decision she cannot stay with us.
Social workers have now got involved and I feel are treating us very badly.
Has anyone else had to end an sgo? And if so what advice can you give?

Thanks

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Twizzle

My name is Suzie, one of FRG's online advisers. Welcome to the Family and Friends' discussion board.

I appreciate it must be an emotionally distressing time for you and your family, so thank you for sharing what is a particularly sensitive and moving story with other users of the forum, about what appears to be a permanent separation for you.

Hopefully you will receive a range of supportive and invaluable tips from other carers who can offer their experience to help you cope with the day to day realities of the post- placement breakdown, especially as a ‘connected person’ and had already successfully cared for your niece's older, (now grown up) sister.

I hope that in time things start to get easier and you are able to cherish the memories of the good times that you all shared together as a family and can acknowledge you did everything you could possibly do under the circumstances.

In your view could a more robust special guardianship support plan have made any difference to your situation? Or is your frustration purely to do with assessments being conducted that were in effect 'not fit for purpose'. For instance, do you feel the absence of available information from the professional network impact on your ability to meet your niece's long term support needs?

Perhaps other special guardians will be able to share their experiences in a way that will prove beneficial to you to help you through this painful process, and to help you 'move on', in a way that is most meaningful to you.

In the meantime, it may be helpful for you to refer to page 48 to 50 of our special guardianship order advice sheet, as there are useful links to different agencies you may wish to approach for support.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes

Suzie

[topsyturvylife]

Things must be really grim for you to want to end an SGO. Especially as you have already been through it once and came out the other side. If SS are involved currently might they agree to a 'Supervision Order' to run alongside the SGO? Yes, it means continued involvement with SS for perhaps a year, but it would surely be both in the best interests of the child and will also take quite a bit of the pressure off yourself by their driving through care plans and coordinating services. SS have a vested interest in the child staying with you. Not least from a budgetary point of view, but also importantly because children being placed with family is preferable for the children to retain their identity. Being a Special Guardian to a child with so many complex issues (without knowing the full ins and outs is a massive commitment), but I hope you find the strength and support to continue.