Please help me.

[Worried-auntie]

Hi all I'm very new to this forum and social services etc in general so don't understand any of the abbreviations.
My daft little brother has gotten himself into a mess and got involved with someone unstable. She is an 18 year old care leaver and recently came off drugs. The social services are involved with her baby with her already having a social worker.

Anyway when she was having withdrawal from drugs she was in a state, she was violent and out of control. She had an argument with my brother and told the police he'd pulled her hair after throwing the hoover at him because he was tidying up and she couldn't stand it due to the withdrawal . She has also told her social worker a very different story and now the case is going to trial and he is being accused off assault by beating.

I'm very concerned as she is doing nothing too show she is a good person who can look after a baby. She is proving her immaturity by ignoring the social worker and not turning up for antenatal appointments Etc. I don't know what to do I'm trying to find a way to help her but she is pushing me away and I cant physically do it for her. She tells me she wants the baby and it will destroy her if the SS take the baby away.

What should I do? I do not want the baby going into care and iv asked if I can go to the meeting with the SW so I can find out what she needs to do to help herself but she is making excuses.
Should I contact SS myself or leave it until the baby is born and distance myself from her? The baby is due 4th July 2015.

I'm 26 year old and I have a nearly 3 year old myself. I have a home which is lovely and I work full time. Only thing is I am a single parent. My little boys dad is fab and has lots to do with him and we are still good friends so the household is happy and stable. I have NEVER had involvement with SS or the police or anything.

Im so confused I need help and advice. At this time i dont believe she is capable of looking after anyone, including herself.

Thanks x

Edited by Suzie as required by our rules for posting.

[Worried-auntie]

Thanks for replying, so will they tell the girl in question that i have enquired as i dont want her pushing me away any further. As there's also a chance her mum will be putting in for care of the child (even though 2 of her 3 kids are in care)

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Worried-auntie

Welcome to the Family Rights Group Family and Friends Forum.

I am sorry that you are feeling confused about the situation involving your younger brother, your unborn niece or nephew and Children Services.

You are to be commended for wishing to offer help and support in what is a very difficult situation for all concerned. It appears that the expectant mother who is very young is confused and vulnerable herself and is likely to need a lot of support at this time.

Children Services will be extremely concerned about the expectant mother’s attitude to the pregnancy especially as she is not engaged with ante natal services or with them. Also, due to the history of drugs use this will also be a major concern as to whether you uses during pregnancy and the effect this will have on the baby.

It is extremely important that she engages and cooperates with Children Services to have any chance of having the outcome she wishes for herself and her baby. You can only try to support and help as much as you can but you are not able to force her to accept the help.

As you have had no previous involvement with Children Services I have included a copy of our advice sheet about children services here.There is also a link to the child protection procedures from which you will get a better understanding of how the process works.

You may also like to look at our frequently asked questions and A-Z of terms on our website

If you are willing to be considered as a carer for the baby the fact that you are single with your own child would not bar you from looking after your niece or nephew. You should contact the social worker to inform her that you would like to be considered if the mother is not able to care.

Children Services will be considering what plans to put in place following the baby’s birth. So if there are other family members on either side who are willing to provide support or look after the baby, you can ask to have a family group conference. This would allow the family to put forward a plan as to how the baby could be looked after safely. I have included our advice sheet on here relating to conferences for further information.

From our website you can also find more information about and friends carers. I have included a link to our advice sheet relating to family and friend carers for your information.

The best way forward is to engage and cooperate fully with Children Services to get the best outcome.

If you wish to speak to an Adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open Monday to Friday from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

I hope you will find the information help.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Worried-auntie]

Hi many thanks for your replies. i am willing to help as much as I can, iv put this girl up in my house for a couple of days but with what is going on with the court proceedings and trial i cannot commit to having her here full time until all of this is dealt with and behind us.

My brother is devastated as he never wanted to be in a situation like this so i would imagine they wont allow him to care for the baby with or without my help,

I will contact social services and i think i will tell the mum im going to contact them not to interfere but too try and do what i can to help. All i want is the best for the baby whatever that may be. like i say i live a happy life with my toddler and he is great along with working ful time to provide.

In the perfect world they would both sort themselves out and grow up a bit. I am trying to stress to her that SS are trying to help but as shes been in care since age 12 ish she thinks there all against her.

She doesnt really have any family as her own parent has two of her children in care at the minute. Though we do have a big family and im sure everyone will try there best to get the right thing for the baby.

I will contact SS tomorrow though im not sure they will discuss this case with me if shes never mentioned me to them

Thanks again in anticipation