social service assessments from out of area

[sisterincrisis]

Dear All,
I write as I am completely perplexed! I have very little information as to why and how, however my involvement within the situation seems to be completely overwhelming. My nephew has been taken into care and placed with temporary foster family. My sister has access three times a week for one hour at a contact centre. She lives in a completely different part of the country from myself. I am unaware as to why my nephew has been removed, however I can guess.
I have 3 fab children and have a fortunate life of opportunity, for that I am blessed and have worked very hard to achieve. My sister, has had a life less fortunate and the most terrible things have happened. Our older sister, died this year and had a devastating effect on my sis - her 5 year old son consequently being taken away. None of us are close, in that I was adopted and my sisters were in and out of care as children.
My sister has stayed in my home with her child, and has now put my name forward to 'look after' her child. I am absolutely wanting to help, and would rather him not 'end up' in the care system itself.
I have spoken numerous times to someone on the phone from SS and now they are coming to do an assessment on me and presumably my home. They are travelling over 350 miles, but do not know why as have not been written to. I am nervous, because my sister thinks she is getting her child back. Earlier conversations with SS indicated that they were looking for a permanent adoptive family and that my sis would not have any contact with her child. Does that mean I she looses me, her only support?
Please help, as very confused.
Many thanks

[Concerned2013]

Hi

Sisterincrisis

It is the court who decides who has contact with the children based on the evidence presented by Children Services, CAFCASS (Childrens Guardian appointed by the court) and the evidence presented by your sisters legal representative and not Children Services.


6.2.5 Placement for adoption

The child’s social worker must undertake an assessment as to the best interests of the child to support any contact proposals. This assessment will take account of the views of the child, the parents, the foster carers and any other significant family members, e.g. grandparents. It should address evidence of attachment and the quality of relationships, as well as give consideration to issues of safety and confidentiality. The nature and frequency of contact will be influenced by any need to maintain attachments and/or long-term identity issues.

From the Department of Education.

The Children and Families Act 2014 reflects the importance of children having a continuing relationship with both of their parents following family breakdown.

If a child’s parent is willing and able to make a contribution to the child’s life, he or she should have the opportunity to do so and the government wishes to make the law clear on this.

Children and Families Act 2014

A court, in the circumstances mentioned in subsection (4)(a) or (7), is as respects each parent within subsection (6)(a) to presume, unless the contrary is shown, that involvement of that parent in the life of the child concerned will further the child’s welfare.

If you have not already done so, seek legal advice, you may also find contacting the Family Rights Group of great help in this matter Tel: 0808 801 0366

[sisterincrisis]

Thank you so very much to your kind replies. I wish my sister could have her child snuggled in his bed - but fear she wont pass the psychology assessment she has coming up. She has unduly attacked me verbally tonight, which makes me fear that she has not changed. I fear that I am going to have SS come all the way here - and I am going to be honest, to the detriment of my sisters chance of reuniting with her child.
I fear my sisters world is about to fall apart - and I feel horrible to be part of that.
But I can't be party to child cruelty x

[Concerned2013]

Be truthful, because in doing so you will be acting in the best interests of the children.

Hopefully, with time and with understanding your sister will see that you are/were acting in the best interests of the children.

[David Roth]

Hi sisterincrisis, and welcome to the Family Rights Group discussion forum.

You have raised a few issues in your posts, which I will try to respond to and comment on.

You say that you haven't been told yet why your sister's son has been removed, although you can guess. If your nephew does come to live with you, however, it will be really important for you to be told everything that has happened to him. When children are made subject to care orders, it is because the court has decided that they have been abused or neglected, or were at very high risk. Children that have been through these sort of experiences are often distressed or traumatised, and the people bringing them up need to know exactly what they have been through.

You say that your sister would still like to have her son back, and that is what you would wish for her. However, she has recently verbally attacked you. Unfortunately, family and friends carers often find that their relationship with the parent of the child they are raising does become extremely difficult. You could try explaining to yoursister that you are not competing with her for her nephew, and social workers won't be comparing the two of you and making a decision based on who could offer him the best home. They are obliged to look on her as the first option for him, and you will only be seen as the fall-back option if things don't work out and they decide that she can't care for him.

However, I do realise that may not be enough for her. From the history you have described, there may be more longstanding resentments, e.g. if your sister sees you as the 'fortunate' one who was taken out of the family to be adopted, while she and the others stayed and were in and out of care. She may see you being given her child as part of that pattern.

You say the social worker will be visiting you to do an assessment, although not what the assessment is for. However, given that the social workers are talking about the boy being adopted if he can't go back to your sister, there is a good chance that they are going to suggest that you apply for a Special Guardianship Order (SGO). This is the order which is most likely to be made when the plan is for the child to go permanently to somebody who is a family or friend, rather than a stranger who would adopt them.

There is a possibility that the social worker might want to do an assessment to see if the child could move to you sooner rather than later, as a fostering arrangement until the SGO application is made. However, this option is less likely, given that you are a long distance away and your sister is still having regular contact with the possibility that your nephew could return to her.

You said that you are going to be upfront about your sister in the assessment. This is absolutely the right policy. One of the matters that the local authority will be assessing will be your willingness to put your nephew ahead of your sister, and your capacity to protect him from her if that ever proves necessary - emotionally as well as physically.

Becoming a family and friends carer can have monumental effects on your life. It can have the huge rewards of raising a child who would otherwise have been lost to the family, but it can also tear apart family relationships between the carers and the parents. I would urge you to

• - come back here for support from others who have been through similar experiences
  - use the button at the top of the page to find out if there is a support group that meets near you
  - read our advice sheets, eg 19 informs you about SGOs http://frg.org.uk/need-help-or-advice/advice-sheets
  - call our advice line if you would like to discuss your situation with one of FRG's expert advisers. The freephone no is 0808 801 0366, lines are open 9.30am-3pm Mon-Fri.