No Man's Land

[radar]

No man's land is where I feel I am in at the moment.
I have been looking after my grandson for just over 2 years now. LA 1 rang me one night and asked if I would be willing to care for him, I said yes. They brought him to me said my LA would check on him the next day. Of course no one did, after several days I rang my LA to ask where they were only to be told I couldn't speak to anyone. I then emailed them. Someone eventually came did initial assessment and core assessment and you guessed it - closed the case. Not knowing what to do I found FRG through Google and I have to say they saved my sanity. With their help I wrote to LA1 trying to get them to accept their responsibility for my grandson. It didnt work. FRG then sent a letter direct to them on my behalf, no written reply was received. FRG then suggested contacting a solicitor but I put it off as other things became 'more important'. I then decided to go the DIY SGO route but my LA dragged their heels and needed prompting about everything. After several months of not getting answers I did follow FRG's advice and contacted a solicitor to help with SGO. Was advised to get LA 1 to acknowledge my grandson as a looked after child first.
Grandson is now classed as looked after - I thought good now we might get some support - none offered. Foster care team arrived first, talk talk talk. My grandson is autistic with very accute hearing and he heard/misheard what was said even if he wasn't in the room, this led to him becoming angry for 2 or 3 days after each visit. During one visit I was told it was unlikely I would pass the fostering panel. So I decided that it would be better for both mine and my grandson's mental health that I should go the SGO route rather than the fostering route. I actually had a good night's sleep the day I told them as did my grandson when I told him the ladies would not be coming back.
Then my grandson was allocated a looked after social worker, good - no the rollercoaster began again. I had spent 2 years fighting for my grandson with NHS, education and childrens services and suddenly things seemed to be taken out of my hands as he now 'belongs' to LA 1 and any help I got from my LA is disappearing. I get asked question after question but dont feel I am getting any feedback. We have had a meeting to start the Care Plan, the Education Plan seems to be being sorted out between the school he refuses to attend (long story but supported by Educational Psychologist) and the LEA I dont know what is happening.
After each meeting grandson is aggitated and blames me for what is happening - I know he doesn't really mean it but there is no one else to take his frustrations out on. Me I feel very low for days afterwards, but I will still fight for the right solution for my grandson.
I was just wondering if this how others have felt at this stage or if I am in a catch 22 situation with 2 LA's 70 miles apart neither of which knows how the other works. I am not concerned about the legal side as that is in the hands of a capable solicitor. It is Childrens Services that are the problem. A quote from the Social worker a couple of weeks ago when I took my grandson for his initial health check/review. The doctor asked why the review was 2 years after I had started caring for grandson. I said that in a nutshell LA 1 had asked me to care for him and then closed the case I took legal action and now he was a looked after child - SW butted in - its a bit more complicated than that.
Its exactly like that. They had not done their job and now they are having to. What could more simple.

Hope you can make sense of this

[Lindilou7]

Your story is so familiar we have been living this nightmare for years caring for our 4 grandchildren. sadly we could no longer keep up the fight and recently had to let them go as we are nearing 70. The behaviour of Children's services was wearing us down to such an extent our health was being affected this was beginning to reflect on the children. We had in fact passed all our assessments with flying colours and in fact Fostering actually remarked they had never come across a family more suitable to care for children, I must admit that department were brilliant and tried not to be too intrusive especially as it was not the norm to have a whole household full of children whilst assessment was ongoing. It didn't matter ,however, how good we were and how happy and settled the children were Children's services were determined to make life hard for us, in fact we now know that certain individuals within this department had decided at the beginning to return the children to mum and we were being used as temporary carers, no one was honest with us lie after lie followed and eventually we put the SW on the spot asking what was going on and still she lied, although by now we had accumulated info proving she was deceiving us, how can people do this to those they are supposedly protecting, in this case it became so obvious that her career was more important, she showed no interest in the children at all. Now they have been returned to mum, yet again the placement with her has fallen down so many times in the past but the gullible SW believed her. She lives in a fantasy world of lies and deceit[ just the same as the SW] despite concern from countless people being voiced and ignored. Mum has been violent and abusive towards others, including the police and children but it's considered it's still worth another try. One person remarked 'Her performance was worthy of an Oscar' Previous SW's [5 in all] earlier on the case have been moved on when they openly stated that the children should not be sent home, it was if someone behind the scenes was determined this should be the outcome and waited to get a SW who would recommend this We know the ideal would for children to be with mum but this is another disaster waiting to happen. We could not afford a lawyer as our income was too high but not high enough to afford the £20K estimated to try to get custody. The law failed these children badly, all 12 court appearances were heard by a different judge and as mum is so convincing in her stories there is no justice for these children