Equal rights

[youngagain]

The fact remains,the only positive outcome that I can find has forced (and I say forced because that is the only way,in law,) local authorities to change their policies is judicial review. i am not comfortable having to resort to such opinions and objectives but who is listening? On the subject of the question as to rudeness, none was intended and none was said.

[Help 1870]

Well I have to say I think you are wrong. We have 2 LA's in our county. One did not have any clear policy on Kinship care but after my involvement they are in the process of rectifying that. The other one after involvement from our group regarding an SGO case has since added and made sure that the relevant information is easily found on the internet.

Neither of those things was 'forced' upon them. The discrepencies and absence of policy were pointed out and the merits argued and debated in a clear, balanced and non confrontational way without any mention or suggestion of legal challenge. Had it been necessary to force the issue then I truly believe that would have had a detrimental impact on all carers the LA's were involved with or subsequently came across.

If People are threatened or feel that a discussion is becoming aggressive or confrontational, the usual result is their backs go up and the situation reaches stalemate and the only way to go is more and more shouting with nothing being resolved.

There are of course cases where every logical, balanced argument fails and as a last resort legal action is the only way. But that should only be suggested as a very very last resort and not used as a 'stick' to beat people with as seems to be becoming more popular.

[Nana]

I agree with comments that education is the way forward and until we can educate people there is little point in 'he who shouts loudest'. In my humble opinion 'he who shouts loudest' is very often not heard over the noise.

It also has the potential of causing more harm than good.

[maricharle]

I think sometimes we need to distinguish between passionate fiery orators and those who just shout for the sake of it. Fire and passion can be a useful way of getting your point across as the emotion can be felt as the speakers voice rises and falls when stressing certain points. Public speaking is an art it's a little like good theatre. Sadly it also seems to be a dying art.

Education is certainly the way forward but how do we achieve it how do we get it out there. I know this whole process has been an education and an eye opener for me but we need to reach a much wider audience if we are to educate people about the problems facing kinship carers and their children.

[youngagain]

All good and valid points,Help 1870 are you a professional so to speak then with a job in the area you describe?

[Help 1870]

That a pretty far out there assumption to make youngagain.

Most people know me due to the support I give freely and willingly, Even if they may not connect the user name here to who I am. Anyone wishing to know who I am is more than welcome to mail me and ask, my mail preferences are set so anyone can contact me should they wish.

But for those who dont know me, I am a kinship carer myself and have been for the last 4 years. Myself and 2 other ladies run a support network/advocacy service within our county, all on a voluntary basis in our own time and one that is very successful thanks mostly to our ability to interact positively with both professionals and families alike to secure a good result for the carers without sacrificing our independance or integrity.

I havnt felt the need to explain myself here, but am more than aware that many carers feel intimidated by professional people and are rightly wary, I would hate for your previous comment to raise any concerns regarding me and my motives for being here.

[youngagain]

Oh,I thought by enquiring or asking a question that it indicated that I did not know the answer.I cant see where I assumed anything. I must admit to being a little confused as to how someone can work with individuals involved in child care proceedings and local authorities. Can anyone do this and how do you go about setting up this worthwhile service?

[Help 1870]

Carers have a right to take anyone into meetings to support them.

[Kate]

Kate, I dont know if you were keeping up with the discussion yesterday but I did to a certain point before having to go off and do stuff. The last post I saw yesterday has gone missing, Im not sure if anything else posted afterwards has gone. If you had seen it perhaps you might have a different opinion whether Nanna20 had been treated rudely or not.

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Help, I don't think I saw yesterday's posts until late at night, just before I posted myself, so it sounds as if I may well have missed something and I'm sorry if any posts were rude to nana 20.

I do think in general this board is a haven of good sense and goodwill. That's from the vantage point of having been involved for some years in boards where "flame wars" were a way of life and I really had a baptism of fire when I first joined. Some of those people became real (cyber) friends, surprisingly. I stayed for as long as the good outweighed the bad, but finally it didn't and a large no of us formed a private email group and the boards died off. Great email group but very sad that it was necessary because it means new people can't find access to the information and support that used to be available. I'm sure that won't happen here because we all care too much about this forum and our fellow kinship carers.

[Kate]

I have to say although I did have some negative issues with the LA I was dealing with our dealings they were turned to positives. The positives far outwayed any negative. We had a great deal of support (not always needed) with contact and we also seem to have far less then most of you to deal with.Money is and always will be another issue. We were trained as foster carers and supported as foster carers. Any "misunderstandings" were rectified. We positively love being Grandparent carers. We are positively proud of our girls and there positive approach to life. I am positively looking forward to the day when the Givernmnet listen and I am equally positive it will some time hence. I am positive I will return here for support and hope I have positively helped others.

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Great post, Irene. It is important to be clear that while some of us may have negative experiences with our LA, we may also have positive in other areas. In our case, there were a few negatives before g/d came to us, because I was a thorn in their side due to my persistence in fighting g/d's corner at all costs. There were workers who either dismissed me or belittled me, but there were others who were brilliant in their commitment to get to the bottom of things for g/d's sake (our daughter was very clever and manipulative so it took some time) Once g/d became a CP case everything changed: we were consulted, treated with respect and invited to meetings. Things were handled pretty well once g/d was with us, the social worker was extremely vague but she did do a decent job with her reports. The area that was worst was funding. I wrote many letters, all of them polite and respectful, and they were totally ignored. It was absolutely disgraceful the way Children's Services behaved and the Indepedent Investigating Officer told us he was "flabbergasted" by what he uncovered during our Stage 2 complaint.

Funding is a separate issue from child protection, and some of us may have a positive experience or negative experience with both, or positive with one and negative with the other. But our experiences in caring for our kin children is for all of us, I'm sure, something which brings us the most enormous joy and satisfaction, even though it may be very demanding and exhausting.

And we should keep positive that the changes we all long for will one day be implemented. Thanks for reminding us of that one, Irene.