Recommended books

The following Family Rights Group books are available FREE for carers... just call us to order one

Wider Family Matters by Clare Roskill
A guide for relatives and friends caring for children who cannot live with their parents. This guide develops and updates an earlier publication 'Second Time Around: A Guide for Grandparents Raising their Children'. Published January 2007
 

A Survival Guide for Family and Friends Carers by Anne Morgan
Becoming a family or friend carer is a complex and at times stressful role, one that changes the life of the primary carer and has an impact on all members of the family. A Survival Guide for Family and Friends Carers explores the emotional impact caring has on all family members and offers some ideas for reducing stress and getting support. This guide is aimed at those caring for a child who is a family member or a child of a friend.

Getting Together - A Guide To Setting Up And Running A Support Group by Alison Richards
The "Second Time Around - A Survey of Grandparents Raising their Grandchildren" survey found that those minority grandparent carers who had attended support groups said that it had made a positive difference to their lives, and most others said that that a support group would have been of great help. As a result, the Family Policy Unit (now in the Department for Education and Skills) has funded Family Rights Group to produce this guide to setting up and running a support group. This guide is based very much on the suggestions of support group leaders, and also includes material contained in Family Rights Group's original guide to setting up a support group called "Getting Going", published in 1990. The guide is aimed at anyone who is caring for a grandchild, and will also be useful for anyone who wishes to form a support group for whatever reason.

Other books for family and friends carers  (not available from Family Rights Group) 

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You can also find out about recommended books and materials for children and young people, by clicking onto the young people's page 

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers

Review by Dave Roth:

This book was first published in 2000, and at its heart is a story which truly is heartbreaking, although Dave Eggers is overstating his case to call the final product a ‘work of staggering genius’. When he was 22 years old, both Dave Eggers’ parents died, within five weeks of each other, of unrelated cancers. The bereaved group of siblings agreed that Eggers would take on the responsibility for raising his eight year old brother, Christopher, known as Toph. Thus, the book deals with a particular type of family and friends care arrangement which is now the subject of a Family Rights Group project, i.e. children being raised by older siblings. Eggers raises a lot of issues that will probably be familiar to people who have found themselves in this position. How to explain their situation to other people? And why should they keep having to explain? Their difficulties in finding landlords willing to rent accommodation to them. With his brother’s acceptance, Eggers slots into a somewhat immature parental role, often playing together like two kids, spending a lot of time honing advanced Frisbee skills.

However, I would give two warnings to anybody thinking of reading this book. Firstly, the strapline for the book says that it is “based on a true story”, not that it is a true story. Dave Eggers has approached this as if he were writing a work of fiction, which means that at times what he writes is not a literal description of events as they happened. Secondly, the book spends a lot of time dealing with other events in Eggers’ life.

This book often feels playful. This is partly because that is Eggers’ style of writing, but it is also because these two brothers do have a lot of fun in amongst the heartbreaking events they are forced to live through. The book takes you on a journey, which is ultimately a triumphant one through to Christopher’s teenage years. The telling of the story is not always straightforward but there is a lot of honesty, which makes this book very moving in parts.

Prepared to Care - a resource book for family and friends carers.
It is published by the Fostering Network, by Jane Butler Review: The book is aimed primarily at family and friends carers who are foster carers, or who are going through the process of approval as foster carers. It provides a very comprehensive guide on all the issues for family and friends foster carers, including their legal situation, the process of assessment and approval, finances and support. It helps carers to think about the complexities of the task they have put themselves forward for, and to think about the consequences for themselves and their families of taking the job on. The language is clear and straightforward, and the appendices, on where to go for help, foster carer competencies, a glossary of term used, and further reading, are informative. The book explains the legal situation in Scotland as well as England and Wales.

Grandparenting in Divorced Families by Neil Ferguson
Review: This highly topical book is one of the first studies of grandparenting in the UK. It provides a unique, detailed and often moving view of the roles that grandparents play in divorced families, and how their children and grandchildren respond to them. Its findings will be influential in shaping family policy, law, research and practice.' Geoff Dench, Institute of Community Studies, London, UK.

Where to Look for Help: A Guide for Parents and Carers of Teenagers by Brigid McConville, Trust for the Study of Adolescence
This is a directory of the organisations that are available to support a parent or carer in the UK. It starts with a calming introduction that reassures the reader that help is only a phone call or a mouse click away. In the second part it categorises the organisations that are available and the different kind of services they provide. Available from Foster Care magazine, phone 01273 693311 (50% discount for foster carers)

Crackhead by Angela Hartnell
Suggested for grandparents with drug abusing children. You might find that you are not alone in your struggle. The book covers not only the devastating effect of drugs on the family; raising a grandchild: fostering and adoption: plus failure by agencies and the law to protect the child.

Review: This is a disturbing book, written by a dedicated and loving mother of a girl whose life is destroyed by drugs. Set in middle class England the format is that of a diary, cataloguing the decline of this intelligent and pretty girl, a decline into hard drugs, prostitution and crime. It is also the story of this very strong mother, who has to stand by and clean up the debris of the girl's life, including three children by three different men, visiting prisons, contacting and befriending addicts and criminals and fighting, in vain, with the social services, drug agencies and adoption agencies, who constantly support the dangerous and criminal lifestyle of this girl. It is a disturbing book but I suspect it would be a lifeline to any other parent or family member who is dealing with a similar dreadful situation.

Review: Angela has completed Crackhead 2 'A New Millennium' which is available for purchasing at your local bookstore. Her next book is Crackhead 3 'Suffer Little Children'.

Books for children and young people being raised by family and friends carers 

Hedi Argent (2007) Kinship Care: What it is and what it means – A guide for children (BAAF)  

Review by David Roth: This short book, for children who are about primary school age, tells the story of a girl called Jade who is living with her grandmother, called Nana Gwen. The book provides plenty of opportunities for the child who is reading it, or having it read to them, to ask questions about kinship care and tell their own story, in words and drawings. Although it is only 22 pages long, the book is packed with topics that will be relevant to children in this situation, such as the reasons children live in kinship care, and explaining to other people. It is very child-friendly in its language, its presentation and its invitation to children to relate their story to Jade’s. I would expect family and friends carers to find this a useful tool for talking to a younger child about what it means to be living in family and friends care.

Mary Lane and Shaila Shah (2007) Special Guardianship: What it is and what it means – A guide for children and young people (BAAF) 

Review by David Roth: I would describe this short book as particularly suitable for children who are of secondary school age. The book explains the difference, from a child’s perspective, between special guardianship, foster care and adoption, and it outlines the court process of a special guardianship application. The book describes how children can come to have a special guardian, and tells the story of some children who are living with special guardians. Although younger children might struggle with some of the material in the book, it presents its information in plain and accessible language, and provides answers to many of the questions that children who are being raised by a special guardian might have.

Message to a Grandchild by Peter Vance
Synopsis: An inspring collection of advice and the perfect gift for a grandchild - or grandmother. When Peter Vance's grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease he was devastated. Although he was only 14 years old he wanted to do something to help victims of this terrible illness. He decided to compile a book and, with the backing of the Alzheimer's Society, he wrote off to famous people around the world asking them what would be one message they would pass on to their grandchild. A suprising number of people replied, from film stars and sporting heroes to writers and political leaders. The resulting collection is by turns wise, funny, moving and insightful.

A Long way from Chicago (Dial 1998) by Richard Peck
What a fun read! Peck presents 8 short tales which span several summers in rural Illinois during the Depression, when two kids make annual visits to their eccentric Grandmother. Narrated by the boy (two years older than his sister), these outrageous yarns create a wonderful atmosphere of wacky individualism and family bonding.

A Year Down Yonder by Richard Peck
The follow on from A Long way from Chicago. It would be hard to find a literary granny as feisty, resourceful and fearless of authority as Grandma. Things are never dull when she stirs her stumps to create a mild uproar in that pompous little town. Her nefarious schemes range from a one-woman crime wave to appointing herself Champion of the helpless and downtrodden. Don't get on the wrong side of Mrs. Dowdel--if you value your reputation or your hide! Grandma remains undaunted and unflappable through bizarre but comical events. Peck's tongue-in cheek humor will bring many a chuckle as you are drawn into her slightly-shady activities. This book will delight kids of all ages--a winner, perfect for summer reading.

Clare Street by Nora Dugon
Review: In this gripping sequel to the highly successful 'Mrs Kneebone and Me', Kelly Ryan and her friends, the assorted residents of Clare Street, come to terms with further changes in their lives. Kelly's seventeenth year brings her first experience of love, with the debonair Nicholas Watson, and her first taste of a settled existence, after a life spent dragged around communes and festivales by her hippie mother. And the delightfully eccentric Mrs Kneebone has taken off in a battered old car to discover herself... This delightful old lady, a single mother, a runaway teenager and a lost doll play their part in this warm-hearted and entertaining story.

Thursday's Child by Jeanne Whitmee
Review: Young dual heritage girl (Fleur - Jamaican/White English) is raised by grandparents (mixed race couple) in Hackney after her father died of drug overdose and mother abandons her. After a happy childhood her grandparents die while she is in her mid teens and following a racist attack she sets off to find her mother who lives in rural middle-class England.  Her mother is now apparently happily married to a successful businessman who does not know about Fleur's existence. After a series of complications, mother and daughter are reunited and form a new family unit with the mother's second daughter from her marriage, the philandering, bullying husband is left to his own devices (and bankrupted into the bargain) and our heroine has become a successful businesswoman and is on the verge of marrying a young journalist. Meanwhile Fleur's mother has changed from a political doormat into a local politician actively involved in working with lone parents and domestic violence victims.

Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney, Anita Jeram (Illustrator)
Review: Sometimes when you love someone very, very much, you want to tell them how great your feelings are. But, as Little Nutbrown Hare and Big Nutbrown Hare discover, love is not an easy thing to measure. This is a mini-sized gift edition of Sam McBratney's tale.

That's What Grandparents Are For by Arlene S. Uslander, Freddie Levin
Review: What a delightful book! The author and illustrator have combined their talents to create a truly enjoyable story. I read this book a few times and found it to be heartwarming and creatively written to capture the love that exists between grandparents and their grandchildren. The verses were both humorous nad touching; the illustrations were beautiful.
 

Other books caresr may be interested in: 

Understanding your special needs grandchild by Clare Jones

All the Time in the World: An Anthology of Verse and Prose Celebrating Grandparenthood by Elizabeth Cairns

How to Be a Way Cool Grandfather by Verne Steen